World of Sweet Valley: I have returned. Do I have an excuse for my absence? Yes, and I think it’s a damned good one.
I’ve been trying to read this new Sweet Valley High novel, and I just can’t seem to get into it. In fact, I’m kind of mad at it.
No, I’m not talking about Book 27, Lovestruck. I would have to feel pretty ashamed of myself if I couldn’t get through that breezy, often hilarious little number, with it’s silly tameness and anachronism. I’m talking about the updated version of Sweet Valley High #1, Double Love. Let’s call it SVH ’08 to cut back on confusion. It won’t work, though. I’ll never stop being confused about this book.
You might recall these words from my very first entry in the Diaries: “As an introduction, Double Love sets one thing straight: Jessica Wakefield is a bitch.” (Mini-confession: I didn’t have to look that up. I have that line memorized. Mini confession 2: I am using way too many colons.) Well, I’m only part of the way into this new version of Double Love and I’m already convinced that the main improvement made was turning both characters into bitches. Total bitches. I hate them.
And yes, it’s true: they are a size 4 now, not a size 6.
So that’s my excuse. Hey, Random House…what’s yours?