Guest reader Caitlin McCann is back, and a lot has happened since she watched Jessica snag (and be snagged by) Bruce in Book 3: PLAYING WITH FIRE. This time, Jessica dyes her hair black and pretends to be a Francophile. Meanwhile Elizabeth imagines she’s in her own personal version of the Distracted Boyfriend Meme. The more things change, the more they stay the same in Sweet Valley, California.
Want to read the original SVD blog post about this book? Here ya go.
I have referred to several of the men on the cover of Sweet Valley High novels as “Tom Cruise.” I didn’t do it because of an obsession with Cruise, or because of the characters’ tendencies to hate on antidepressants and jump around on chairs. I did it because I thought they looked like Tom Cruise. Let’s review, shall we?
Here’s a cover image from Book 12, When Love Dies. I’m not sure how accurate a statement this was. I mean, look how tall Steven Wakefield is! One thing I do know for sure: I am very, very funny. :D
It’s not just Steven that resembles Ol’ Top Gun.
OK. There is no doubt in my mind that Book 35‘s Aaron Dallas looks exactly like angry Tom Cruise. As for the Zack Morris/Jeffrey French corollary, I’ll let you be the judge:
With Book 36’s entry a couple of week’s ago, I finally broke down and called out cover artist James Mathewuse. It’s not just Steven, Aaron, and Peter that look like Cocktails-era Cruise. About 75% of Sweet Valley boys resemble Tom Cruise in some way. I mean, even creepster Scott looks a little like Cruise with a mustache.
Imagine that Tom’s wearing regular glasses. Or, imagine that Peter’s wearing sunglasses. Either way.
Flip through the old entries (or your own book collection) and you’ll see what I mean. There are plenty of occasions when Todd Wilkins, Roger Barrett, or even Bruce Patman look a little Cruise-y. Perhaps it’s because of his popularity in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Or maybe, they don’t resemble Cruise at all. Maybe he looks like them!
Ed: The below post is a little jacked up right now...my apologies. I hope to get it fixed and enjoyable again soon.
Haven’t you lain awake at night, wishing you could look more like the denizens of Sweet Valley? Or perhaps you’ve wondered to yourself, “How much does it cost to live like a Wakefield twin?”
Well, lie/wonder no more. Here are the twins on the cover of Book #1, Double Love:
On Jessica, we find a lovely dark jean jacket, such as have only just come back into fashion (I think). Amusingly enough, the first spot-on match I found was this “Phoebe” jacket by Rock & Republic, retailing at the bargain-basement price of $298. Of course, in 1983 dollars, that’s, like, $4.50.
Of course, both twins wear a gold lavaliere, which, as we’re constantly reminded, was a present from their parents for their 16th birthday. I found an approximate match (visually, at least) at BlueNile.com. That’s an 18-karat gold BAR we’re talking about, so naturally it costs $265. Hey, it’s still less than the jacket.
(Editor's note: since the original writing of this post, the necklace I wrote about is no longer available...the photo in question is from Wolf & Badger.)
On Elizabeth, we find an ever-so-matronly yellow sweater. This one was the trickiest to hunt down. The world is full of yellow sweaters, but most of them are just a little too sexy for Liz. Take, for example, the yellow sweater we find on Kevin Jonas.
You’ll find all sorts of not-the-right yellow sweater by googling “Yellow Sweater.” I thought maybe I’d find something in the vintage section of eBay, but after some digging, I found this closest match...
L.L. Bean. Circa 2010. It feels right, doesn’t it?
This particular sweater has few too many cables in the cable knit, maybe, but I have a feeling this design hasn’t changed much in 30 years. Also, this one is made of cotton, while Elizabeth’s looks patently acrylic…but maybe I’m going overboard at this point.
I’m venturing into strange waters here, but if the spirit moves me, I might post some more Sweet Valley fashions in the future. What do you think?