Sweet Valley Diaries

SUPER STAR: LILA'S STORY (w/guest reader Marissa Wasseluk)

Fa la la la Li-la Fow-ler!

 

 

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Picture this: it's the end of 1989. You're at the Walden Books inside the mall. As you browse the latest soapy middle-grade serials, what to your wondering eyes should appear but an ENTIRE book all about the elusive, elegant, rich, and endlessly scheming Lila Fowler. Your favorite character in the Sweet Valley High series.

Fast forward: it's 22 years later, and two Elder Millennials named Marissa are going to retell the story of this very important novel to you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GLADIATORS!

Thanks to guest reader Marissa Wasseluk and Purple Planet Music.

 

The following transcript was automatically generated and only minimally edited. Apologies for any nonsense.

Super Star: Lila's Story

[00:00:00] Marissa F.: Superstar, Lila's story.

Happy holidays, Gladiators. Here is a special gift to you in your feed during the off season. Sorry, the off 'seasons going on so long, but it's not another reissue of special Christmas though. I do really recommend making that episode a part of your whole holiday tradition. Um, it's a beautiful redemption tale and today we have another kind of redemption arc of sorts and the person being redeemed, in my eyes at least, is notorious rich bitch Lila Fowler, um, who also happens to be one of the most popular favorite characters in the series based on things that people have tweeted at me.

I think that popularity might be due in large part to this book, uh, which is kind of amazing. So with me to address that question and of course discuss the book itself and the majesty, the purple mountains majesty that feels sexist or like objectification, can I, 

[00:01:13] Marissa W.: whatever the book is, purple book is 

purple.

[00:01:16] Marissa F.: Lila is like the original Purple Unicorn or whatever, you know, from club. Um, it means something to me anyway. I, uh, I'll, won't put off the introduction anymore. It's another person named Marissa. All your Marissa's here together. Marissa was solid. Hello? Hello, Marissa. 

[00:01:35] Marissa W.: Marissa. So happy to be here. Thank you for choosing me to read Lila's story with you.

Well, 

[00:01:40] Marissa F.: we were, uh, having an outdoor coffee co-working session as you do in Los Angeles today. It's indoor today. Today we're indoors. This is the first recording I've had in my beautiful studio in some time. Oh, really? Yeah. Um, it's been remote stuff or like other people's homes. Um, but I'm happy to have you here.

Obviously, longtime listeners may recognize Marissa's name or voice as well. I don't know if you sang in any of your previous episodes. This could be the first, but you have been our resident expert on the Porter family. Um, and you may continue that it should, the Porter girls come up again, but Julianne Joanna Porter, uh, if anybody listening doesn't know who that is.

No big surprise. They're not super major character geniuses. Yeah. The Porter family in general, computer geniuses. I think it was Shoah Joanna. Joanna decided to she was in less musical, but really into science. 

[00:02:38] Marissa W.: Yes. Achieve programmed a music, um, um, program. 

[00:02:44] Marissa F.: She programmed a music program. Yeah. So show that makes her musical in a way.

Yeah. 

[00:02:48] Marissa W.: Um, together nicely. Yeah. Like episode was that listeners need to rewind. It's going to be 

[00:02:56] Marissa F.: like a 19 and like a 40, I feel like I was just listening to a 47 is the last time you were here. So now when the new season starts, we're going to be on book 61. Okay. 

[00:03:07] Marissa W.: And this is a special edition. This is a 

[00:03:09] Marissa F.: special edition and it, but it falls pretty much right where we are the very end of 1989, think back.

And, um, when we were having our, okay. Back to the story, we were having our coffee. Co-working outdoor time here in beautiful silver lake. And you mentioned that this was a book superstar Lila's story. It was a book that. I remembered from your girlhood 

[00:03:38] Marissa W.: that I wrote fan fiction about because I loved Lyla so much.

Let's pause a moment and talk about representation in children's literature, please. Because I was, I w in my little hometown of legs, Erik, Illinois, um, all I read was sweet valley high. I was like nine, I think. And I was like all about sweet valley twins. And then I was all about sweet valley high because of Lila, because I would hear all about these beautiful blonde girls who are with their crystal blue eyes.

And, um, I, and I wanted to be blonde because I was reading all about the sweet valley twins. I was watching, you know, I grew up watching rainbow bright Shira. Everybody was blonde blue eyes, and then there was Lyla the dark beauty and, um, and you know, growing up in, uh, You know, suburban Illinois, there weren't a lot of Asian people, especially like half Asian people.

So like I got a lot of what are you, um, man, and it meant a lot to be like, oh, someone with dark hair and dark eyes is the main character of the story. And I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until now. Now it's a thing like where people are, are like we have to make, um, minorities, protagonists of the story so that kids can see themselves in.

I didn't really realize how important it was. Um, and I really got into sweet valley because I wanted more Lila even though Lila's is kind of a bitch 

[00:05:16] Marissa F.: it's um, I, that's so interesting. That's like an important perspective and it's something that I feel like. Uh, another facet to a story that we are hearing that I have kind of been learning over the course of this podcast and talking to all different people with different experiences with the books, um, but you know, all different kinds of people, um, for different reasons, I think love Lila and, um, this book makes you root for her, even when she's being terrible, it was just making bad choices.

It's like she's a 

[00:05:45] Marissa W.: manipulative. 

[00:05:47] Marissa F.: The story comes back around to make it all be for good, uh, you know, in the end, but we'll get, so she's the hero of the story, even though she doesn't stop being Lila, Fowler, you know, 

[00:05:57] Marissa W.: Lila, Fowler, 

[00:05:58] Marissa F.: Lila, this character who throughout the series is basically. Only trotted out to like, show how rich people can be in this neighborhood most of the time, because these books always have the Wakefield twins at their core, a really, really common theme of Lila's introduction.

Is that something she's saying is making Jessica feel really jealous that she doesn't have as much as Lyla does, which Jessica has a lot of great things, but she's just like upper middle-class instead of upper upper class. Yes. She doesn't have a car phone. Yeah. But I think that it's yeah, you're right in the, when these books were written, the mindset seems to be, from my perspective from now looking back is that it was a time when it counted.

Like it was quote unquote enough just to have characters that were not white or that were not stereotypical. To use the term of these books. That bothers me. I'm all American looking people as your care, look to how people in the periphery was like, good job. You know, other people exist, not, they're not just blonde white people in the world.

[00:07:12] Marissa W.: Um, I'm looking forward to 

[00:07:13] Marissa F.: season seven. Me too, me too. You're not alone in that because I 

[00:07:18] Marissa W.: mean, for all of how different Lila is, she is pretty much this like cut from the 

[00:07:25] Marissa F.: same. I mean, in a lot of ways, Lyla Fowler is sweet valley. Forget the Wakefield twins, Lila Fowler represents the allure of sweet valley.

California. People can be this rich. They can have the greatest fashions. They can live in a mansion. Let's talk about Layla's story. Shall we? This is the first such book of these superstars that we're talking about. And it's the first one that came out. There are some other superstar books that will happen.

I think there's one for Bruce Patman. This, I think he did gets one. Yeah. And so, uh, this was my first read for me for the first time, my first time reading this book and I, yeah, I was excited and I was different from what I was expecting. It's a summer book. Like a lot of these special additions have been, the super thrillers are all take place during mysterious summer.

And, uh, it's just a story of a thing that's happening to Lila. Like Lila gets to be the protagonist and it's extra long. Like these super additions tend to be well, 

[00:08:25] Marissa W.: a lot of things happen to Lila in these three weeks 

[00:08:28] Marissa F.: of her summer. Yes, indeed. Starts off simple enough. Of course they're at the beach, you know, she's at the beach with who else?

Amy, Amy, Kara, Jessica, Jessica they're at the beach, uh, like affecting a, sort of a aloofness, uh, and you know, looking over the top of their sunglasses and they like half nude boys and it was Lila also. Good 

[00:08:53] Marissa W.: enough for 

[00:08:53] Marissa F.: Lila. No, she wants an older boy. She's bored of all the boys in town. That kind of thing.

[00:09:00] Marissa W.: Jessica says you need to fall in love and she's like, puppy love. 

[00:09:04] Marissa F.: Yeah. That's rich coming from you just go Wigfield but the big news in Lila's life right now is that her father, George Fowler is dating a woman named Joan Borden and he, she lives in LA and her father has been spending a lot of his free time in LA.

And as someone who knows Lila Fowler, who these books I was, I felt really felt for her with this, um, Uh, who knows what personal baggage I might be bringing into that, but she definitely is constantly characterized as someone who just really craves her father's attention. And he's such a busy man that she doesn't get much of it.

Now he's spending his free time with this lady, John Borden. And it seems like it's getting serious. 

[00:09:49] Marissa W.: She also seems a little bit, she, she doesn't like the idea that it's happening, but she also seems a little bit like fine. Have 

[00:09:57] Marissa F.: fun. Right. And she thinks it's going to be like the way she is with boys.

Right? Like the way her father is with this woman, he's dated other women before he dated the French teacher. You know, he's dated women in these books. I still remember him dating the French team. He actually was way too young for him. Although who knows George Fowler is probably like 35, but, um, there's actually a line, uh, at the end of chapter one, her father is telling her yet again, I'm going to go out to LA.

So you're going to be home alone. Sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to snap at you. Uh, he's yelling at her for having overspent, uh, on her credit card at Lizette's she spent $600 on an outfit at Lizette's. She lied 

[00:10:37] Marissa W.: to her 

[00:10:38] Marissa F.: father about it. She's like, oh, I think that was a mistake. I was like, okay, well I don't have time to look into it now.

So it says to her, be sure to have Eva fix you something good for supper and don't wait up. I'll be late. Ill Lila. Didn't say a word. She didn't feel so bad now about lying about the credit card bill. What difference did it make? Her father was so wrapped up in his new girlfriend. He barely even noticed his own daughter was a lie, exclamation point.

[00:11:09] Marissa W.: Like I really felt for Lila to, yeah. They, there was a really good 

[00:11:13] Marissa F.: setup there, and it's not like in other books about like random characters where we're getting all this information for the first time. We know that this is Lyle is dynamic with her dad. Yeah, no. Yeah. Then pretty soon, uh, Joan starts coming over for dinner, like spending more time at the house and she brings her daughter Jacqueline with her.

Oh yes. 

[00:11:33] Marissa W.: It's the next morning where daddy surprises her with brunch. Yeah. He's like get some, get a lunch, 

[00:11:40] Marissa F.: a brunch menu. And did you notice what he said that they were gonna serve? 

[00:11:45] Marissa W.: Uh, I think it was. Nice white salad or something like that. He's like, 

[00:11:49] Marissa F.: he's like, what do you think about the menu? He proposes cold poached salmon with cucumber sauce and a light lobster sauce.

And then he says too much seafood and I'm just like too much sauce, sausage cold poached salmon. Honestly, it sounded good, I guess. So, um, maybe with like some bagels or like rice, it's like getting dangerously close to being 

[00:12:16] Marissa W.: that sauce, but 

[00:12:17] Marissa F.: Ava's on top of it. If it can do anything, Ava's the nice housekeeper.

So they're going to be there. Like they're just Joan and Jacqueline. 

[00:12:25] Marissa W.: He tries to trap her. Her father tries to trap her in situations where she would have to interact with the Borden's, especially Jacqueline. Of Joan. Um, he really wants them to get 

[00:12:39] Marissa F.: along. And the initial impression of Jacqueline Jacqueline seems sheepish at first.

Totally. She seems like in all of Lila, she's really quiet. She's so nice. Like sickeningly sweet. And I will admit that I was getting some Suzanne Devlin vibes from Jacquelyn. There is a book, I think it's book 11 of the series too. Good to be true. It's called about Suzanne Dublin of the aforementioned special Christmas redemption arc.

And the whole title of the book is like, this girl is so nice. She's bound to be not actually nice. Like nobody could be this giving and nice and also this beautiful, which is a problematic, uh, perspective anyway. Um, yeah. Yeah. 

[00:13:25] Marissa W.: So you have to be. To be like nice lady to beat, like, yeah, 

[00:13:29] Marissa F.: I guess so. I mean, maybe that's why Jessica hates even so much.

She was just like, I don't, I don't trust that girl. Like she may need to be this nice maybe, or like she's, if she's nice, she must not actually be as, as pretty as she appears. Um, anyway, I could, we could actually could think of a lot of examples where, uh, charity and attractiveness seem to be at odds in this series, but we'd have so much book to talk about.

Okay. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. Apologies. I think 

[00:13:59] Marissa W.: Jacqueline. Oh, 

[00:14:00] Marissa F.: let's talk about Jacqueline talking about Jacqueline. That's a great idea. 

[00:14:03] Marissa W.: Um, well I really just, I, she had me fooled as cause she was just, she just wanted to be, but like I'm reading about Jacqueline. All she wants to do is be Lila's friend every time she entered.

Yeah. 

[00:14:15] Marissa F.: Well, another part of me was like, they're not going to go down that same road again. They've done that character. So yes, I was fooled by her because. I mean, spoiler alert, gladiators were saying the word fooled. Uh, but you know, she, she's definitely, she's so nice. And she's so meek, that's a, that is a difference between her 

[00:14:32] Marissa W.: and the lonely girl.

Now I started to get, like, once we talk, once you went to the I'm jumping ahead, a lot of, but once they went to the beach and, um, Francine starts talking about how attractive, uh, Jacqueline is, how her Auburn hair and her slim body and all that, I'm like, ah, she's not as nice as she is. 

[00:14:53] Marissa F.: Well, there we go. And just before that, something weird happened.

So you mentioned how George has kind of trying to force Lila and Jacqueline into proximity. Lila, not just with Jacqueline, but with Joan, with the whole board in situation, she is trying to steer clear of it. She it's like an avoidance tactic. Like if I don't look at them, they don't exist. Dad's going to get over it and we can go back to our lives, our lives, which, um, she describes early on.

This is what this is like Lila state of mind early on in the book, while his mood lifted slightly, as she looked around at the pristine beauty of Fowler crest, none of this would ever change couldn't her father see how perfect their life here was together. Just the two of them. Lyla was certain. He would never do anything to ruin the way they live.

Certainly he wouldn't let Joan Borden and her daughter spend too much time with them. 

[00:15:44] Marissa W.: And just mentioned, I love when mansions have a name and that this one's called Fowler crest 

[00:15:50] Marissa F.: crest. Yes. The mansion thing is funny. I highlighted something underneath here where they describe it as a 20 room mansion.

It stood out to me because when I was a kid, some person, I think, I know, I think it was my friend Francis at the time. My suspicion, um, told me that. In order for a house to be a mansion, it has to have 20 rooms. And like, that was the definition of a mansion. And it was one of those things that was just probably totally fabricated that I, like, she probably pulled it out of thin air, but I thought it was real, like into my adulthood that like 20 rooms.

It sounds 

[00:16:27] Marissa W.: like a fact. Well, I mean, I 

[00:16:30] Marissa F.: should have Googled it. Architect. Well, if a house does have to have 20 rooms to be a mansion, then it's not that exciting that fellow I'm like how many rooms do get mentioned in this book? I mean, there's a whole guest suite that the board ends are eventually moved into.

So Lila is fantasy here in chapter two, about how nothing's ever gonna change. Uh, he would never let the Borden's ruin what they have and their beautiful Fowler crest life. Uh, Lyla must be in on the secret that like time is not going to pass for them. Even if, if this were normal timeline, she would be getting older.

She would graduate. Like this would be, there would be a ticking clock on this whole lifestyle of there's anyway. But yeah, we know that because we live in reality and sweet valley, no such things. We'd Belize, 

[00:17:19] Marissa W.: chasm of it's. 

[00:17:22] Marissa F.: So you mentioned Jacquelyn at the beach when that happens, like her George and Joan are really pressing Lila to like put together an event so that Jacqueline can meet her friends.

And so she like gets her, her usual suspects on the phone tries to get a group together, but Jacqueline doesn't have a bathing suit and the Borden's are staying in sweet valley for the weekend or whatever. And so while it gets out her like six bathing suits, right, she's got these beautiful, like high fashion swimsuits and Jacqueline goes straight for the most expensive one that Lila has never been.

And while there's nothing particularly incriminating in that there was something about it that I was just like, Hmm, how would she know? Like, how would this unassuming sweet girl know which bathing suit to pick that would be like the fanciest, the most luxurious and piss off while at the moment? Yeah. So it'd be a coincidence.

[00:18:20] Marissa W.: Um, well, at first at first I thought maybe it was cause she really, you know, was sweet and meek and you know, she wouldn't really also why would Lila even put that one out with her, for her to be why? Because Lila mentions how much she doesn't like her stuff being touched and whatever. And yet dad is all like, um, share everything with Jacqueline, you 

[00:18:42] Marissa F.: know?

Yeah. Including stuff in the house that is like her mother, like Layla's mother. Signature, which is another complicated thing. Um, well, his mother isn't dead. She's just gone, but he got divorced. 

[00:18:55] Marissa W.: Uh, and yet Lila still has a soft spot for her missing mother and doesn't want her 

[00:19:01] Marissa F.: furniture. We upholstered.

Yeah. So sounds like we were on the same page here. Like these little issues with Jean and Jacqueline. Don't quite seem like at the level of red flags, they're like yellow flags pink. Yeah. I was going soccer. You were going color wheel. It's great. How to play soccer? Well, all I know is that there are yellow cards and red cards and they mean different things.

And I did say flags thinks that there's something off about the Borden's too, but it's just like, can we, is, can we trust Lila's suspicions? I don't know. Here's what she says. Lila slumped back in despair. She couldn't believe this. Her father truly seemed to be crazy about Joan Porton and Lyla. Really couldn't see why Joan was perfectly nice on one.

She brimmed over with enthusiasm for every detail, the flowers on the table, the lemon trees, even the delicious aroma of the coffee, but there was something about her that made Lila feel uneasy and Lila. Couldn't help feeling that Joe made too much of an effort to emphasize her Beverly Hills connections.

At one point, she told them that her mother had been an Aldean Westcott. She looked disappointed when no one commented on that back. And she had to explain that they were one of the oldest, most established families in the country, Lila twisted uncomfortably in her chair. Ordinarily she would have been impressed with someone who came from such old money and who seemed so sure of her place in society, but she didn't like the way Joan was barging in to felon crest.

So our spider senses tingle and Joe. This running thing with Joan and her last names and families really made me laugh. 

[00:20:41] Marissa W.: Can we talk about when she meets Jessica? 

[00:20:43] Marissa F.: Yes, we absolutely can. And I have it on page 55. I like I've marked this down. Can I marry it again? Set it up. We can set it up. Okay. They throw at the country club, right?

Oh yes. So the, you know, again, George is bringing the Bornes around, like, so everybody is starting to ask DeLila more and more questions about it. Poor thing. Like she really wants to bury this and pretend like it's not happening, but you know, the more George starts bringing these women around the mom and the daughter, the more people are like asking Lyla questions about it and, you know, trying to get her to be real about it.

And of course, everybody thinks the board and seemed great. Right. Yes, they're putting their best selves. And unfortunately for 

[00:21:31] Marissa W.: Lila adamant about meeting everyone in 

[00:21:33] Marissa F.: sweet valley, they really are. And unfortunately for Lila, you know, she's been complaining about these people and especially about Jacqueline, when her friends meet Jacqueline, they're like, she's great.

Like, I don't know what. Complaining about. And it's a little bit of a boy who cried Wolf kind of thing. Right? Cause Layla is always complaining about everything. So it's like just lie, Olivia and Lila. She thinks there's something wrong with Jacquelyn. She doesn't like her dad's new girlfriend makes 

[00:21:59] Marissa W.: me more empathetic to Lila because like, cause you can see like Jessica takes little jabs at her for being rich and everything like that.

And uh, it just she's as much. It seems like she boasts about being rich because she's like, well, that's how I define myself and that's who I am. So sit down and watch me be like this. But when you read Lila story, you see that there's really like more layers to it that it's like, why won't you believe me?

[00:22:27] Marissa F.: Right. Well, we mentioned at the outset that she has does a lot of scheming in these books. And she does a lot of scheming in this book. And before it helps her, her nature of kind of duplicitousness and mistrust really like gets her in a lot of trouble to the point where like the fact that she lies about the credit card to her dad, we're going to talk about some more lies.

It makes it so that the truth sounds like a lie from her. And the fact that she has come in is complaining all about every single thing about the Borden's with no real proof makes people who meet this like pretty nice girl, Jacqueline, be like, you seem disjointed with your complaints. And it's just Lila being Wila, which, you know, You can relate to both sides of that, right?

Yeah. If I were telling somebody that I really have a bad feeling about this person, that's invading my life, it's really upsetting me to have to pretend to be sisters with this new girl. And all my friends were like, oh, get over it. Oh, 

[00:23:29] Marissa W.: we're friends. 

[00:23:30] Marissa F.: It hurts. It hurts. Okay. So Joan Borden meets Jessica Wakefield 

[00:23:36] Marissa W.: there at the sweet valley country club.

Lila has, uh, is sunbathing with Jessica cleaning again. Okay. About Jacquelyn and 

[00:23:48] Marissa F.: Joan and Lila has told Jessica, but she'll probably tell you her lineage within seconds of being introduced, or she'll tell you about Jacqueline's debutante ball or something equally tied with them, you know, and then they're, they're coming over.

They're coming over. Lyla. It's so nice to see you again. She sat in a charming voice and who's your pretty friend Lila flashed Jessica and I called just Wakefield. Jessica said putting out her hand of the Boston Wakefield's or the Philadelphia Wakefield's Joan asks studying. Jessica was interesting. I don't think either difficult said, oh, Joan dropped her hand.

The look she gave, Jessica seemed to say. What a shame, but all she said was, and this is Jacqueline, my daughter, she laughed putting a pale hand up to her throat. KhaLila. Your father just had the most flattering thing to me at the bar. He said, I don't look old enough to have a daughter, Jackie Sage. Isn't that silly of him.

It certainly is. Flightless said,

boom. Hey, 

[00:24:52] Marissa W.: so good Lila gets in her jabs, the Boston Wakefield's 

[00:24:57] Marissa F.: or the Philadelphia 

[00:24:58] Marissa W.: Wakefield. I love your Joan voice, 

[00:25:01] Marissa F.: man. I need to get these together, but I just have to, you know, let, let the character speak to me, speak through me. So yeah, that's Joan. It is a little bit like you. Yeah. Um, something that Lila remarks at a certain point.

Oh, you mentioned upholstery. So they're back at Fowler crest. Uh, like ding dong. There is a guy at the door who has like Rhea, pollster to chair, like Joan had one of George's chairs. Reupholstery and she's weird about it. She's just like, oh, they've come early. How bad of them? I'll just, I'll go ahead and read what she says exactly.

She says those men are so bad to bring it around. Now when you're at home, I thought they were delivering it next week. She wants it to be a surprise. I guess she says, let me go upstairs and get my money. I only left a small down payment. She returned a few minutes later looking distressed. This is so embarrassing.

She said, I forgot to bring enough cash from LA to cover it while look at her within their own eyes. It struck her that for a very wealthy. John warden didn't seem particularly solvent. I enjoyed reading that sentence in a book for, for a teenager to preteens. I wonder how many kids like got out the dictionaries, like solvents.

I thought that was like very much in Lila's head, like for a supposedly wealthy woman on board. And doesn't seem particularly solvent. 

[00:26:24] Marissa W.: We talk about the timeline of George and Jones romance here. Yeah. Let's do it because, okay. It's not even the whole summer where we meet her and they decide to get married.

[00:26:37] Marissa F.: Yeah. That's coming gladiators in case you didn't see that coming well, 

[00:26:40] Marissa W.: you know, it's on the back of the book. 

[00:26:42] Marissa F.: I mean, it was obviously it was coming everybody in the sweet valley seems clear on the fact that it's going to happen except for lilacs. 

[00:26:50] Marissa W.: You know, there's like so many. Oh, we have to go introduce her to the people at the country club.

We have to, we have to put together a little, put together a little party at the wood. They do so 

[00:27:03] Marissa F.: many birthday party for Jacqueline and she's turning 16. 

[00:27:05] Marissa W.: And also why does Jacqueline not have her own friends in LA? 

[00:27:09] Marissa F.: Yeah. Why would Jacquelyn want to have a birthday party and sweet valley valley instead of in LA?

She goes, she's just met. She's turning. He met these other teenagers. Yeah. Weird. 

[00:27:21] Marissa W.: Why would a 16 year old not have their own own friends to invite to their birthday? 

[00:27:29] Marissa F.: Especially one like Jacqueline, you know, like supposedly lives in Beverly Hills, supposedly. It's pretty there's supposedly, but yeah. Um, she would maybe, maybe it wouldn't be good friends.

Maybe they wouldn't be real friends, but they neither are these people she's just mad. 

[00:27:46] Marissa W.: Yeah. So yeah, there was, it was very quick 

[00:27:50] Marissa F.: whirlwind romance, especially for her. I mean, to go back to the chair thing for her to be like redecorating the house, it's like you, yeah. Sorry. I was just seems like presumptuous.

[00:28:00] Marissa W.: They've only been staying over like four nights. They stayed over in the guest suite and she's like, I'm going to 

[00:28:06] Marissa F.: redecorate this chair. Well, but of course we know not to bring it back to this cause there's no fun, but we know as savvy adult readers that this is actually just like a MacGuffin, like it's a, it's a plot device because.

George Fowler is going to have to go get some petty cash. Petty cash is going to be missing and an order to talk about why petty cash is missing. We're going to have to back up just a little bit to talk about another very important element of this book. And we're also going to have to move to the part of the podcast where we talk about boys.

[00:28:50] Marissa W.: let's talk about 

[00:28:51] Marissa F.: boys. Yes. So Lila at the beginning of the book, not interested in falling in love, but then one night she's at the Carlyle Xavier concert and the sweet valley stadium. 

[00:29:05] Marissa W.: And so he 

[00:29:05] Marissa F.: fell. He's got everything. Bills. She knocks into a cute boy, spills his drinks and it's, you know, it's a meet cute lovey of Nora Ephron.

Yeah. 

[00:29:15] Marissa W.: Love it. First bump. Yep. Yep. 

[00:29:18] Marissa F.: So this is Evan Armstrong. Well-named boy ever. There was one very 

[00:29:25] Marissa W.: strong name for strapping young lad. Right? Who is unlike any boy she's ever come across in sweet valley. That's right. He goes to 

[00:29:33] Marissa F.: a different school. I think he's just graduated from Palisades high looking, looking at it again.

I think he just graduated. So, but it's summer. So that's why 

[00:29:43] Marissa W.: she never ran into him. 

[00:29:44] Marissa F.: Yes. He's an older boy, but he's dating a girl that I guess goes to sweet valley high. Yes, Sonya. Sadly. 

[00:29:51] Marissa W.: Yes. Who Jessica knows through cheerleading. Sonya didn't make it of course. 

[00:29:57] Marissa F.: Oh, right, right. We missed that. We missed that book.

I mean, I don't think, I guess it could go back and go back and check cheerleading tryouts. I don't know how many chilling trials out at this point in their junior year of high school. Um, so when you Bentley and they are like, Sonya is too short for Evan, that is her big. They seem to be a hot item, but there's a lot of the like, bitchy, like justification that Lila comes up with for why it's okay to break them up is that, um, Sonya is way too short for.

[00:30:34] Marissa W.: She can't even look at them together. This 

[00:30:36] Marissa F.: is your favorite character gladiators. Think about that for a second. I stand behind it. Yeah. I spoke to the gladiators in general, but you specifically Marissa? No, no. I mean, clearly Lila has a thought at one point she says something like if Sonya and Evan or this easy to break up, they shouldn't have been together anyway.

And she has a real point there. Yeah. 

[00:30:57] Marissa W.: I agree with her because, okay. Let Jessica has some inside deets about this couple, um, that she learned, well, trying out for cheerleading with Sonia, like her boyfriend, Evan has a really great car. Number one, like some Italian 

[00:31:14] Marissa F.: fancy car. This, this needs to be read verbatim because my goodness.

It's an important moment. Oh, let's 

[00:31:24] Marissa W.: rewind. And describe Evan to the gladiators 

[00:31:27] Marissa F.: here. Yes, it is the part of the podcast. We were talking about boys, and that is the jurisdiction. Of course, 

[00:31:33] Marissa W.: the two girls climbed out of their seats and made their way down the aisle to the concession stand. They were just getting in line for soft drinks.

When Lila bumped into a guy in front of her sending the cardboard box in his hands, flying and drinks in it, spilling to the ground. Whoops Lila said turning red, the guy looked down at the spilled drinks and shrug. Oh, well he said giving Lila, disarming smile. I guess what they say about not crying over spilled milk goes double for spilled soda.

Don't worry about it. Lila looked into his smoky gray eyes and was mesmerized. She had never in her entire life seen a guy. So utterly gorgeous and charming. Uh, can I I'm so sorry. I was totally my fault. Can I buy you more drinks? Nah, he said with an easy smile that took her breath away. Honestly, don't worry about it.

Lila tried to catch her breath. She couldn't bring herself to take her eyes off him. She studied his long bill. He was very tall, probably six feet, two inches or so with sun streaked blonde hair, he had broad shoulders and square of handsome features. He was dressed casually in faded jeans and a white polar shirt.

And he was very tan. Layla was instantly and madly in love, but before she could say another word he paid for new drinks, gave her a casual wave and smile and disappeared into the crowd. 

[00:32:58] Marissa F.: Sounds like a sexy boy. She goes back and talks to Jessica and the stands like who is that guy? Jessica gives you the scoop.

He's actually there with Sonia. That's how they see how the height disparities. They, uh, you know, very harshly and unfairly, uh, judge them for, but whatever, you know, 

[00:33:16] Marissa W.: person I'm very, I was, I felt 

[00:33:18] Marissa F.: triggered. Yeah. I mean, you can see what they're doing though. It's not really about that. Like, you know, it's a thing, especially high school girls, you can imagine, like, why are they together?

You know? Yeah. But what Jessica says is, I don't know all that much about him, aside from the fact that he drives the sexiest car on earth, a launcher coop, which is an Italian sports. Yeah, I Googled it. I Google a 1989 launch a coop and it is not the sexiest car in the world. And this, the ones in that like seventies models.

Okay. I mean, maybe it was like in the wrong car, but 

[00:33:57] Marissa W.: well, is it, what's it what's it worth 

[00:34:01] Marissa F.: because, oh, good question. Good question. 

[00:34:03] Marissa W.: I feel like a sweet valley teenager with like, no, the MSRP on that, 

[00:34:10] Marissa F.: especially one of these girls. For sure. Yeah. Um, so you mentioned, I mean, that passage is such a perfect, like one of these rare, like, um, really, really good boy descriptions.

We haven't gotten one in awhile. 

[00:34:24] Marissa W.: Well, you just knew, you know, you get when the new you get 

[00:34:28] Marissa F.: and you see, and it's important, like how much she lost after him, because you know, she really, it's gotta be this whole love at first sight thing. Um, later on when everybody's at the beach Desco and we'll get to what's happening there.

Um, she is like seeing him again for the first time and she's like gonna make her move on him. Um, and the book says she studied him closely and practically trembled at the sight of him. Sorry,

sorry. Go on. His arms were muscular and tanned and his jaw was set. He looked melancholy and angry, like a romantic hero. Well, I look, could feel a blush coming towards her lips felt more, you know, so she's, she's having a physical response, 

[00:35:18] Marissa W.: put it that way. Or the last time a man made me tremble.

[00:35:25] Marissa F.: it's a very 16 year old thing to, uh, to experience physically. Um, but yeah, so, well, I love basically is like, oh, did you say what, what, um, Jessica knows about Sonya. 

[00:35:39] Marissa W.: Okay. I didn't say, okay. So Jessica knows Sonia through we'd covered how she knows her. They had had a conversation during tryouts and apparently Sonia like is so into Bruce Patman.

He makes her tremble at the site, you know? Uh, 

[00:35:55] Marissa F.: yeah. And, and like, Evan is aware of this and. It's kind of like, Sonia, you need to stay away from Bruce. You know, it's a little bit possessive, but it sounds like it's warranted. Right. Um, so yeah, it's basically like Bruce shows up and Sonya is really excited.

This is Jessica's theory. So then like the next day at the country club Lila has arranged to meet Bruce and like have a talk with him. Like she's going to make a deal with the devil essentially, uh, to get Bruce's help and breaking them up. And then she's going to swoop in and steal Evan Armstrong. So let's talk about, let's talk about the scheme.

Let's talk about the scheme and I really want to read Bruce's perspective. On whether or not the scheme will work as well. We can do this all, all in one fell swoop. Here's a nice little passage. Okay. Do you think you could get Sonya interest in you again? Do you think you could get her to go out with you?

Sorry. That's not a good Lila. Let's try Lila again. This is Lila. Okay. Do you, 

[00:36:56] Marissa W.: sorry, you just sound a little like an 

[00:37:00] Marissa F.: Elizabeth. Do you think you could get Jessica to go out with you? Sorry. Do you think you could get Sonya interested in you again? Do you think you could get her to go out with you? Bruce gave her a look.

You've got to be kidding. He said dryly Lila. The girl was practically throwing herself at my feet last year. I don't see why it should be any different. Now she has a boyfriend Layla pointed out. Don't you think that might just be a tiny little bit of an obstacle, Bruce shrugged and took off his sunglasses.

Why should it be the guy can't possibly be as great as I am besides she had a boyfriend then? And it didn't seem to bother her. 

[00:37:39] Marissa W.: I love your bruise. I love it. If you can see her read Bruce, like an eyebrow thing, 

[00:37:47] Marissa F.: going back, that he, it says he took off his sunglasses is you can really picture it. He's like.

You David Caruso or whatever, like, you know,

so yeah, that's the scheme, but we can go into the details of the scheme. It's going to happen at the beach disco. Yes. So they, 

[00:38:10] Marissa W.: they know the time and the place and like she and 

[00:38:14] Marissa F.: Winston and Aaron, Dallas are having some kind of party that they're arranging. 

[00:38:18] Marissa W.: Oh, yeah. I don't know why I forgot there. He isn't Winston the class clown or something.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So I do enjoy with Winston, 

[00:38:29] Marissa F.: Bruce Patman and this book as that man, Batman, I have never seen before and it really tickled me. Um, he's like Winston and Lyle are dancing on the dance floor, which is already weird, but like wireless looking everywhere and here comes Bruce. Like, that's what she's waiting for because Bruce is like going to swoop in, on evidence Sonia where they're doing.

[00:38:48] Marissa W.: Yeah. And you know, I'm surprised at how much Bruce wanted to take part in Lila scheme, given how much Lila and Bruce hate each other, because they're the most rich, the richest teenagers in sweet valley. And they kind of like have a, a rivalry going on that, on the side, old money versus new money. Love.

Yeah. For Lila's true love. And, uh, she has nothing to trade him 

[00:39:13] Marissa F.: for. So, and 

[00:39:15] Marissa W.: he's like, ah, one day I'll 

[00:39:17] Marissa F.: get you in. Yeah, they basically, they do discuss it at the country club. So I'm going to do the same for you. What are you going to do for me? She's like, you're going to have Sonia. He's like, sh I get Sonya any day, whatever he says, you know, but he's like, they tried to think of something and eventually he's like, no, you're going to owe me one, which is dangerous, especially 

[00:39:35] Marissa W.: with Bruce.

And you never know what that one is, but it's kind of established that Lila and Bruce like have a like friendly rivalry that, where they love to hate. 

[00:39:47] Marissa F.: They're kind of cut from the same cloth, you know? So it's like game recognize game. 

[00:39:51] Marissa W.: So like, she's like, I know you can do this. This is what you're best at.

I'm going to let you do your I'm going to let you shine. 

[00:40:00] Marissa F.: And he, so he does successfully break them up. Like almost instantly all he 

[00:40:04] Marissa W.: needs to do is walk up to 

[00:40:06] Marissa F.: her. Well, it helps it Sonya he's. He was right about Sonia. Like basically he insinuates himself and is like, I really want to dance with. Sonya is like, Evan, is it okay?

Evan's like, no. And Bruce was like, yeah. Was just like, oh, come on, buddy. You can see, she wants, the lady wants to dance with me. And she's like, yeah, I do. You know, that's basically how it goes down then evidence brooding. That's when he goes out on the porch and Lila is waiting, pretend she doesn't remember him, even though he's making her tremble or whatever.

And from there it's like Lila and Evan are essentially a thing and he pretty soon he breaks up with 

[00:40:39] Marissa W.: Sonia that night before he breaks up with Sonia. Yeah. In fact, there is no actual scene. It's just. Well, he doesn't want to talk to Sonya anymore. 

[00:40:51] Marissa F.: A few days later, like we hear Lyla tell after they've gone to Miller's point of Intel's Wila but this is just like recounted Baila that he had called Sonia up and ended things.

I will 

[00:41:03] Marissa W.: say I was a little disappointed that they didn't go into more detail about hanging out at Miller's. I 

[00:41:07] Marissa F.: know. Right? Well it's because we're adults reading, like actual romance novels. It's like, but they are teenagers. So. It's kind 

of 

[00:41:15] Marissa W.: word in show when they just go like pan to the right and you watch the wind in the window, like, oh, Alicia, I supposed to insinuate that they had a hot and heaviness like Titanic, you know, 

[00:41:29] Marissa F.: we didn't even 

[00:41:30] Marissa W.: give that.

I wouldn't. Yeah, there she's just like, he took me 

[00:41:33] Marissa F.: up to Malone. There is a moment actually where, um, it's this is, and this is, I was just like the exception that proves the rule. Um, what it says is there at Millers point, it was a beautiful windless night, the moonlighting up the valley, like a wonderful beacon.

And before Alila knew what was happening, Evan was taking her in his arms, his mouth soft and warm. As he kissed her, she could feel his heart beating against hers. Oh, Lila. He cried, burying his face in her neck. It's like, okay, it's peace in her neck. 

[00:42:07] Marissa W.: But she seems certainly proud of her. That she, you know, got 

[00:42:12] Marissa F.: him to tremble.

She could barely conceal her joy. It was working like a dream, you know? So I was ready for the other shoe to drop with this pot line. I'm like, like every romantic comedy, you know, that starts as a trick. They fall in love for real. And then they have a breakup, you know, crisis in the finds out because he thought it was all a lie.

Yeah. That's not, what's going to happen though, but it 

[00:42:35] Marissa W.: isn't really a lie because she is really into him. Yeah. She just like, you know, schemes to yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, you know, I can't really approve of Lila, but it is very typically Lila. 

[00:42:46] Marissa F.: Right. So we find out and Lila finds out really quickly that one of Aaron's big things is that he's like a race car driver.

Um, he races like sports cars, like drag racing in. That the Davis Speedway or something 

[00:43:01] Marissa W.: someplace that's 30 minutes away from Fowler 

[00:43:04] Marissa F.: crest. Yes. Whatever that means. So

um, so the, this is kind of brings us back to the upholstered chair, the petty cash. Eventually Evan is like, I reloads collide. Yes. Evan really wants to enter this big, like qualifying race. He has what it takes to be a top driver, whatever that means, but it's going to cost $500 to enter Lila offers to give him the $500 he refuses.

She offers again, he refuses. He does not want to take this money from her. Good for him, but, um, she insists and then she takes it from the petty cash. And then on top of all that, she has a brilliant idea. She is going to take the key. Um, that her father keeps, uh, in hidden away. She knows where it's hidden the key to the drawer where the petty cash is kept.

We're talking, I'm using the phrase, petty cash. This is a household, like whatever, like some, 

[00:44:13] Marissa W.: well, her father keeps cash in his drawer for like, there's at least a thousand dollars in there at all times just in case, you know, someone has to repulsed or a chair or something. 

[00:44:24] Marissa F.: So, and I think like for, for Ava to go grocery shopping.

Yes. Um, cause at one point they reference how she's going to need more money because she's having them buy more groceries. Cause there are two more people at the house. Yes. I was a little worried for Ava at this point. Like, is she going to get in trouble for stealing this money, but no. So Lila plants, the key under.

Wait in Jacquelyn and Jacqueline's room. And also like, uh, um, and the pocket, she also like takes a necklace of hers and like hides and under Jacquelyn's pillow. Like she's trying to frame Jacqueline for like, basically to have everybody think that Jacqueline's not so perfect after all. 

[00:45:06] Marissa W.: And Lyla is very proud of herself for this game because she's, she can't wait until someone finds out that there's no money in the, or that there's $600, $500, less petty cash.

And, um, for her father to start asking questions. 

[00:45:23] Marissa F.: Yeah. So, but what actually happens is the father comes back from his office after having gone to get some cash to pay this upholstery delivery guy. And he's like, oh, it's so weird. There's this key that I usually keep hidden as sitting on my desk. And there's not as much money as there should be in this drawer.

Like, what's this about? Well, Y Lila is immediately like, oh my God, Jacqueline must've found the key and put it there. What does that mean? 

[00:45:53] Marissa W.: Yes. I honestly did not know where I was. 

[00:45:57] Marissa F.: And Jacqueline tries to claim to Lila when Lila confronts her about it, because, oh, because Jack also, she hasn't gotten a message that, uh, somebody called and left a message, right.

Or Jessica. 

[00:46:09] Marissa W.: Okay. Jessica was like, we were, uh, Jessica had told Lila, Hey we're where are you? We all went to, um, I think we all went to the beach or something. Um, and Lila wasn't there and she's like, it would've been great if you came. Um, and she's like, I didn't get a message that we're 

[00:46:25] Marissa F.: all going out.

Jessica leftward with Jacqueline, Jacqueline is like, oh, I wrote it down on your stationary. I put it on your desk. I left. It was like, you did not do that. And Jacqueline's like, I think there must be a ghost in this house, which is an intriguing idea, you 

[00:46:39] Marissa W.: know, said that she had put it next to her gold necklace.

[00:46:44] Marissa F.: Um, on her. 

[00:46:46] Marissa W.: So that's how, you know, that Jacqueline knows that she was being set up. 

[00:46:50] Marissa F.: Yeah. Yeah. It's very easy to picture the scene of these two girls. Just sort of like pretending to each other that, you know, like just like passive 

[00:46:57] Marissa W.: aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. They're saying more between the lines. Well, that's like the first time you're like the flags turn red with Jacqueline and we're like beyond the middle point of the book.

Yeah. This 

[00:47:12] Marissa F.: is, um, page. I have a note here that says on page 1 40, 1 of this is like a 210 page book. It says Jacqueline reveals herself. So let's see what that passage is. Shelving. 

[00:47:28] Marissa W.: Oh, well, oh, you might be talking about when George and Joan go on a long weekend and the girls are alone. Yeah. Okay, so that happens.

So, oh my God. Yes. The confrontation was, um, just before Joan and George were like, we're 

[00:47:46] Marissa F.: going away from him. Just a few pages earlier. Yeah. Like page 1 34 is when Jacqueline says this thing. I, well, I think there must be a ghost. Joan and George are going to go on a trip. Jacqueline's going to stay with Lila because that way she won't be home alone.

And Leila was like, oh, I don't think I'm going to like this. Well, she has no idea. Jacquelyn is about to reveal her true nature. And I was so tense during this because it's like Jacqueline turns into such a cruel, like sassy, like bitch to Lila and Lila. And there's nothing. Well, I can do about it because everybody thinks that Jacqueline, this is angel here.

What happens? Uh, she walks Lyla, walks into her bedroom. When she went upstairs to her bedroom, she found Jacquelyn twirling around in front of the mirror wearing the brand new suede outfit. Lila had bought from Lizette's. This is the one that she spent the $600 on. She couldn't believe her eyes. It didn't exactly make her feel better to see how fantastic Jacquelyn looked in it.

What are you doing? Lila cried. Jacqueline chugged, just trying on a few things to see what I need for the week. This is the first time I've seen the summer suedes, but still I thought I'd just try this outfit on. She tipped her head in the direction of Lila's bed, where the contents of both our closets were strewn and heaps.

You have so much stuff. It's hard to decide what I want most get out of my outfit. Lila snap right now. Why should I Jacqueline said calmly admiring herself in the mirror. I really don't see the need. Do you anyway, what are you going to do? Run to daddy and company. He's far away now, Layla, it's just you and me.

Ooh. Oh. And she's two goes on. She says, I have to give you credit. You didn't believe I really was the way I pretended to be. Most people buy it. Her column was unshakeable, I guess that's because you and I are two of the kind Lila, she smiled a nasty, I know your type kind of smile in any case, I guess you and I are going to have to learn to live with each other.

It certainly looks like that's what our parents have in mind. 

[00:49:54] Marissa W.: I felt like I was in boiling water when I read that, like she got, she got her. 

[00:50:01] Marissa F.: That is a good description. Lila is in such deep shit. And there's no way for her to get out of it. Cause nobody will believe. And, 

[00:50:08] Marissa W.: you know, it says a lot about when this was written, because like my first instinct is to be like, call dad or record it on your phone.

Yeah. 

[00:50:20] Marissa F.: Well, you're, you're, you're in the right Headspace, 20, 21. Yeah. But leave. But if we take it back, you know, 30 years, 32 years, you're you are getting close to the right head space. This, we will reveal, you know, we need proof. Right. It gets even worse when Joan and George get home. Right. Because, uh, before too long, um, this was really exciting part of the book, but also nerve wracking.

Lila is walking past the like guest suite where the Borden's are staying. And she actually overhears, uh, the conversation between the mother and the daughter. Do you want to do this with me, Jack? 

[00:50:59] Marissa W.: The winner, Joan. Ooh, you do a good job. 

[00:51:03] Marissa F.: My Jacqueline's not quite as distinctive. Um, 

[00:51:06] Marissa W.: your Jacqueline is quite Lila.

Oh 

[00:51:08] Marissa F.: yeah. Well, there are two of a kind. Yeah. Well, by next week at this time, he and I will be married and there won't be a thing to worry about anymore. Lila heard John say, what 

is 

[00:51:19] Marissa W.: that awful daughter of his gets in the way somehow I don't 

[00:51:22] Marissa F.: trust her LEL. His face grew hot and she felt dizzy. Fury burned inside her like a volcano.

Oh, I can manage her. Haven't I done a good job so far with her father Lila had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. What was going on. Then the voices resumed. I'm 

[00:51:39] Marissa W.: just afraid someone will find out who you really are. If he knew you didn't have a set to 

[00:51:45] Marissa F.: your name while his heart began to pound, how can you find that out, sweetheart?

Trust me. I know how to take care of George Fowler. As soon as he and I are married, you and I are going to be millionaires 10 times over. I'll make sure of that. Then all that's left for us to do is wait things out to like, and file for divorce and alimony. George Fowler will never know. Lyla runs away.

They don't know they've been overheard. 

[00:52:11] Marissa W.: Lila's not the only one with 

[00:52:12] Marissa F.: schemes in this book. They're full on con artists. 

[00:52:17] Marissa W.: And to explain why Jacqueline has no friends. Right. 

[00:52:20] Marissa F.: And of course she doesn't have any money. I thought it was funny. Like that's the part that really makes life. So, but it's like just finding that out.

Wouldn't really be a smoking gun. It's the whole divorce alimony thing. Like, I am literally just trying to marry this man to take his money. I don't care about him. I'm wrapping around my finger, like fifteens of sweet valley often do with boys, but this is her dad, you know, her dad and her dad 

[00:52:45] Marissa W.: has assets.

[00:52:46] Marissa F.: He's been duped. Yes. So Lila like thinks about it. She thinks about it. And she's like, you know what? I'm going to tell my dad when I heard. Yeah. And that scene is like, oh, so difficult. It really like speaking of shaking things, making one tremble, not in a good way. 

[00:53:06] Marissa W.: Like she was she. And what kind of environment has he created where she doesn't feel like she can be honest with her father.

[00:53:15] Marissa F.: And she's like, I, it's so hard for me to say this to you. Like every, not a normal thing for a while at a say. And when she tells him, like, I overheard something, they're not who they say they are. Her dad is like, you have been scheming against these women since they showed up. You never gave them a chance.

You have lied about so many things. He's so mad at her. It's really hard to watch 

[00:53:43] Marissa W.: or read. And as the case may be, she's stuck. She has made her bed and she is lying 

[00:53:50] Marissa F.: in it. Yeah. And speaking of lying, another bit of light let's do a segue, Bruce. You know, he knew like he picked the thing to make LA ask Wila to do in return, but he like knew would most upset her.

It's such a like monkeys bar thing, you know? 

[00:54:08] Marissa W.: Yeah. Um, so he had asked her, uh he's like, Hey, I finally know what I'm going to ask you for your favorite bag. And honestly, when I read that my heart sank, I was like, oh shit. Now is the time to, you know, pay back that debt. And, and, and, um, honestly I thought it would be bigger than it was, but Evan wants to race in this big race that she paid $500 to get him to fix the cars for.

Um, and Bruce's big question is, Hey, like now that I'm dating Sonya, because you told me to, and your dating Evan, I need you to get Evan to drop out of that. Cause he needs, he, his good friend. Who's 

[00:54:55] Marissa F.: he's like Tom, I was looking, I never heard it before and I didn't mark his name. Let's see, 

[00:55:01] Marissa W.: he wants his friend to win.

[00:55:03] Marissa F.: Yeah. He wants his friend to win the race. He's like, 

[00:55:06] Marissa W.: if Evan who's a really great racer is 

[00:55:09] Marissa F.: in the race. Bruce must have some money on the sky or something too, you know? Cause otherwise why would Bruce wouldn't do a favor out of the goodness of his heart for his buddy, right? That he 

[00:55:18] Marissa W.: actually mentioned that he does have money, um, on, on Tom or Toby or, 

[00:55:24] Marissa F.: oh, his name is this isn't the end of the book, right?

Yeah. 

[00:55:27] Marissa W.: He turns out to be really hot 

[00:55:29] Marissa F.: to 

[00:55:32] Marissa W.: Toby. His name is Toby. 

[00:55:34] Marissa F.: Bruce wants Toby to win. Bruce basically is like, if we get Evan out of the way, Toby is a surefire winner. So Alila really doesn't want to, because she actually genuinely does care about Evan, first of 

[00:55:44] Marissa W.: all. And she wants him to have the things that he, like, she wants him to sweep, but she comes up with an even grander scheme to get him to 

[00:55:54] Marissa F.: not write.

And once again, these, like these worlds are crossing over. She's like my dad doesn't believe. Because I've been scheming against the Borden's. So I'm going to change my tone. Totally. I'm going to be so cooperative. I'm going to help plan the wedding. I'm going to help plan. She suggests a joint birthday party and engagement party for the Borden's, which is already a pretty genius, like scheme to pretend like, oh, she's so excited about it.

Cause the Borden's like, can't really protest, but of course, like why would Jacqueline want her birthday party to be the same as the engagement 

[00:56:26] Marissa W.: party, but Lila is reinforcing how she has her father twisted around her finger more than Joan, because George is all about 

[00:56:37] Marissa F.: it. He's like, yeah, he's so excited that Lila is excited.

That he's, and he's the one who pulls, you know, he's the, what's the, the purse strings or whatever he holds the purse strings is the phrase. So he, that gives him the power, you know, you know, if, if, if we can get daddy to agree with it, then. We can get anything. And so she she's gone to the, the real power in the family, which is, um, which is daddy.

Yeah. So of course the Borden's can't argue with George's enthusiasm. They have to go along with it or else they risk revealing their true selves. And Lila 

[00:57:12] Marissa W.: actually says, when she's like, Hey, uh, we're planning this a great birthday party for Jacqueline. Um, how much are you contributing to this, to this 

[00:57:24] Marissa F.: party?

She's like, oh, maybe you want to pay for it. And George is like, oh, I like wouldn't hear of it. You know, but she knows she's sticking it to him. Yes. Um, so she goes to Evan and she's like, we're having this party. And you know, it's so hard for me. This whole thing has been so difficult. Um, I really need you to be there.

It's Friday. And Evan says, you know, lie that our race on Friday night, if I could be there for you, I would. But Lila drew in a deep quivering breath. Oh, it was race. She said quickly taking a step back with all my problems. I completely forgot. Nevermind. She said hastily at her most martyr, like voice. I'm sure I'll be fine.

It doesn't matter. Evan, the hurt and betrayal, she managed to work into her voice. Surprised her. She didn't even feel like she was acting. Evan bowed his head. Okay. I'll bag the race. I want to be there for you. He murmured. So little Lila is excited. I thought that was such a talent. Sweet little sentence in the middle of this.

Like, she didn't even feel like she was acting like that is a moment of, of, uh, literature in this book.

[00:58:39] Marissa W.: Yeah. I mean that also endears Lyla too, because like, she, she does, even though she's scheming, she does have these feelings and honestly, it's not a lot to ask your boyfriend 

[00:58:50] Marissa F.: and she does want him to be there for her difficult time. You know, it's like, it's not, we wouldn't be 

[00:58:55] Marissa W.: in the race if not for her $500.

So 

[00:58:59] Marissa F.: like what she's not getting, they're not getting back by the way. 

[00:59:03] Marissa W.: Like, so like how big of your you race every weekend? How big of a deal is it to, you know, not go honestly, If he said, no, I'm going to raise out a 

[00:59:14] Marissa F.: broken up with him. Um, but yeah, so she's really excited and it's all, you know, she's paid back Bruce or whatever.

She feels bad about it, but whatever, she's excited, he's going to be there. Yeah. 

[00:59:29] Marissa W.: She gets what she wants to fold. She gets to fulfill her, her debt to Bruce and she gets to have her boyfriend at the party. Right. 

[00:59:38] Marissa F.: So, um, and at the party, when Evan goes, she like sees him talking to Jacquelyn a little bit and she's like, Hmm.

They seem awfully friendly. That's weird. But you know, when she brings it up to him, he's like, oh, you have to talk to other women. And he wasn't particularly, he makes it sound like, oh yeah. You know, I was telling her happy birthday. She's not that interesting. You know, he like, really doesn't seem like he, and 

[01:00:02] Marissa W.: he goes to the whole, like, she's actually a nice girl.

You don't even know. And she's like, you know, you, I do know. So please just hang out with me. Yeah. 

[01:00:12] Marissa F.: How about we stop talking about it, talking about Jacqueline, but Lila still has one really big problem, which is that she needs to get this wedding canceled or like her father is going to be ruined. It's like the day of the wedding arrives.

And 

[01:00:26] Marissa W.: honestly, when we got to that point, cause like it, it sort of all tumbled, they had their engagement party and then what three weeks goes by and they're getting in, they're going to get married, 

[01:00:35] Marissa F.: I guess. So. And we just have Lyle, like sitting on her bed, like it was the morning of the wedding.

[01:00:48] Marissa W.: like, I really thought they would be more things happening, but we just go straight to the wedding. Uh, and oh, when do we see Evan and Jacquelyn again? Is that 

[01:01:00] Marissa F.: the wedding or. Uh, she has been helping them like helping with wedding plans while evidence at the house. And so she just kind of lost track of him a little bit.

And she walks past, this is not the day of the wedding. It's like he was jumping over 

[01:01:14] Marissa W.: the pool and like, everybody loves him at 

[01:01:17] Marissa F.: Fowler. He's just, yeah, once they meet him, he's like a fixture at the house as well. So, and of 

[01:01:23] Marissa W.: course she's wearing 

[01:01:24] Marissa F.: Lila's bathing suit. So Lila is going to the like guest suite to drop something off for the, I had peace for that.

She was working on for Joan Jacqueline's voice was muffled. We can't say anything. She hates me so much as it is. If she found out Lila felt her stomach do a flip-flop, she couldn't believe it. Jacquelyn. And Evan, was it possible or was she actually losing her mind? She peeked inside the room and her worst fears were confirmed.

Evan had his arms around Jacquelyn and was staring deeply into her eyes. You know, you're the one I've always cared for. I don't see how it can have been as confused as. Jacquelyn looked up at him, adoringly and Lila felt her knees weakened as Lila listened. The two of them discussed how to behave in front of her and what to do with the wedding.

How do we arrange time to see each other? I'm going to be really busy because there's this race I want to be in in a few weeks, but Evan hesitated and then said, sadly, I don't think I'm going to be able to be in it. Why not? If that's what you really want. Jacquelyn cried. I'd love to come and watch you race sometime.

I'm glad you're so. Lyla couldn't stand. My racing. Evan said, which is so interesting because Evan said the same thing to Lila about Sonia and Weil has been really supportive to Evan about his racing. Who's 

[01:02:39] Marissa W.: the real con artist. Yeah. We're seeing now that it's Evan the whole time, 

[01:02:44] Marissa F.: not the way we were expecting things to unfold 

[01:02:47] Marissa W.: for $500 here and there.

[01:02:50] Marissa F.: So, so now it's an L Jacqueline says, oh, Evan, I love you so much. Like, it's really like poor Lila. She's like, everybody's scheming around me and there's nothing to do. Um, so the wedding, the day of the wedding comes 

[01:03:07] Marissa W.: well, you know, the theme of overhearing things yes. Is prevalent in this, in this book, how things are conveniently overheard and you never know who's listening.

Right. And I think it really, the morning of the wedding dawns on her, that this could be, 

[01:03:26] Marissa F.: yeah, there's this there's this plan. It was all comes together for her. Um, another convenient plot element is. George is really concerned about everyone being able to hear the quartet that he's hired no matter where they are in the, in the wedding party, in the, in valor crest, wherever, and just big on music.

Yes. He's big on music and this is believable, rich guy stuff, right? He's like, I want the sound of my wedding to be perfect speakers lining the garden. So there's this sound guy that Lila starts pestering. Like, tell me, explain to me how it works. You know, I really need to know my dad is going to be really upset if anything goes wrong and I need to be able to understand how they work, you know, and finally she gets this guy to give him, uh, to pay attention to her and she decides to, uh, take some microphones and hide them in some plants, I think in the room when the sunroom 

[01:04:28] Marissa W.: yeah.

Where. The girls are getting ready to go down the aisle 

[01:04:33] Marissa F.: literally to like, yeah. That's like an outdoor wedding, right. Moments. Yes. 

[01:04:36] Marissa W.: It's in the 

[01:04:37] Marissa F.: backyard of father crest. Yeah. And so Lyle is like, all right, what I need to do is make sure I'm going to make sure all the wiring's properly. And then I need to make sure that I get them to reveal their secrets because they actually don't know.

So at this point, that Lila knows. Yes. Um, obviously Jacquelyn knows that Lila knows that Jacqueline's true nature. Yeah. Her true nature. But the Borden's don't realize that Lila knows that they're con artists like full on con artists. Um, so Lila chooses, uh, the moment, um, the split second before, they're about to where they walked down the aisle.

Uh, so. So 

[01:05:21] Marissa W.: the back of the sunroom, getting ready to walk down the aisle. Yeah. And Lila seizes her moment, she knows like now is the time to expose these con artists for who they are it's now or never. 

[01:05:34] Marissa F.: I'll start with Joan, trying to pull on these gloves. Joan was trying to wriggle into a pair of two small white gloves.

These are supposed to be borrowed. She muttered, but I don't know what George was thinking of. Borrowing them from a friend with child size hands after briefly glancing down at the microphones, Lila cleared her throat and turned to Joan, you know, Lelisa, delicately. This might be a good time to think about what you're doing before.

Do you know what it means to stand up in front of 300 people and pretend to feel something, you know, what are you saying? Joan demanded her frustration over the gloves, making her face, turn red. I don't understand you, Layla. You know, I adore your father and I want the chance to be a good mother. She threw down the gloves and exasperations, I think it's time.

We all quit the acting here. Jacqueline made it clear to me weeks ago, who you two are and what you're really after Joan turned dead white and she stared at her daughter. You did what 

[01:06:35] Marissa W.: she gassed. Don't listen to her. She's lying, 

[01:06:38] Marissa F.: but John's expression of flora said it all. How could you, she demanded grabbing her daughter and shaking her shoulders violently.

You could have ruined everything if her father finds out don't you see how close we are? You swore not to drop the act for us thinking. 

[01:06:53] Marissa W.: Mother, let me go. I'm not the one you should be 

[01:06:56] Marissa F.: mad at. How dare you tell me who I should be mad at after I put myself through all this, just so you and I can have the kind of money you've always wanted.

I've done this for you as much as for me. You got it. Well, I will took a deep breath. She hadn't thought it would work so perfectly. Every one Joan and Jacqueline were exchanging, was being picked up and transmitted out to the audience of wedding guests, Angela. She was almost, she had been afraid. It would be hard to get Joan and Jacqueline to show their true colors in the excitement because before the ceremony she should have known better.

So just desserts, um, And I'm sure they're like, so the door opens and Lila breathes a sigh of relief when like all the guests and her dad are just like staring like a Gog. Some of the guests will extend, they start to walk. So I think that there's some booing, even I made that out, but there was some 

[01:07:52] Marissa W.: hissing

[01:07:56] Marissa F.: So Joan is beautifully clueless that any of this has happened. So when she gets up to the front and George is like, I can't believe he would do this to me. She's like, darling, what are you talking about? And it's so 

[01:08:09] Marissa W.: delicious. I just can't believe how hard it was for her to date millionaire, George Fowler.

Oh, so tough. So hard to go, to get had fancy brunches. Like, I don't know. Maybe she's upset about the gas money she had to 

[01:08:25] Marissa F.: like she, yeah, this is a good point. She could have been like. Using him for his money, but also like trying to get along with him. Like he didn't have to be such a dastardly scheme. You know what I mean?

Like, yeah. His money is something I like about him, but you know, we're going to be happy together instead. It's like it wasn't great. Maybe she's not into dudes. Maybe, maybe she, um, has some sort of dream. They have some like secret plans that they didn't get into in the book. 

[01:08:57] Marissa W.: Yeah. I mean, but she was, they went to Hawaii to get engaged.

They were going to go to Japan for their, for their honeymoon. Yeah. I don't see what the big deal about, even if she didn't even, she didn't like him. Uh, he was so happy to be around her that like, and he loved her. He really loved her. And that's why he's so taken aback when he hears that she D he just, she just wants the money.

[01:09:25] Marissa F.: Yeah. It's really tragic. I mean, we don't know that much about George Fowler. 

[01:09:30] Marissa W.: She doesn't even say, I don't love him. 

[01:09:33] Marissa F.: It's true. But she is pretty set on weird. I'm going to divorce him and steal his alimony. Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:09:42] Marissa W.: Um, but uh, at least Lila could have said that, you know, and, but anyway, Everybody puts it together.

She walks out. Everybody's like, how dare 

[01:09:55] Marissa F.: you? Uh, cause, and there's this amazing moment that really tickled me because it was so there was something so weirdly like only in sweet valley about it. George makes this announcement to everybody, my friends, he said, calmly, there's been a little change in plans.

It appears that thanks to my daughter's intervention, he had DeLila and the crowd sheet

and that's super appropriate reaction. I think. Thanks to my daughter's intervention. There won't be a wedding ceremony today after all a sigh of relief went through the ground. So, 

[01:10:35] Marissa W.: you know, I really also, just before that happens, the board is just walk away. They're like, oh, well the jig is up. Well just going to walk out the door now.

[01:10:47] Marissa F.: Not like talk about this darling note. 

[01:10:49] Marissa W.: I know. And Evan gives Jacquelyn a look because he realizes that he can't get money out of Jacqueline 

[01:10:57] Marissa F.: bull. Plus Jacqueline was pretending to be a nice girl to him, just like she was pretending to be nice to everybody else. So Evan was duped as well. I mean, he sucks, but he was, um, tricked into thinking that she was nice.

I mean, he defended her to Lila, you know, he really, she really made him a fool. Yeah, let me, he did some of that work himself. But the reason that this is so hilarious, of course, in case it's not obvious, it's just like, there's no wedding, 

[01:11:23] Marissa W.: like spit this switch, terrible thing happened. My heart's completely broken, but I've processed 

[01:11:31] Marissa F.: while actually does get her wish of like our fault.

My father would never ruin our perfect life together. You know, 

[01:11:37] Marissa W.: there's no reason to let all this food go to waste. Let's just have a party in honor of. Yeah, who saved my, who saved me from Alamo. 

[01:11:47] Marissa F.: And then in like such a perfectly Lila thing, like I'm ready for this, this book to end the way it would end.

If, if this had happened to say Elizabeth, where Lila goes up to Evan and is like confronts him and like tells him off, it gives him a piece of her mind. Instead, what happens is like only like the perfectly Lila version of it. Whereas she pretends that she was using him the whole time. 

[01:12:12] Marissa W.: Yes. I read that.

I loved it because like, like she could have admitted that she was hurt by him. Right. But that's not his style. She has to have the last word she has to go out and she's like, I've done like this 

[01:12:27] Marissa F.: whole thing. Yeah, I will. And Bruce is there with Toby who has won the rice that Evan couldn't has won the race that Evan couldn't be in.

And Lyla is like, Ooh, this Toby fellow, like you said, it's pretty attractive as well. And, um, didn't see that coming actually. No, no. Oh, 

[01:12:46] Marissa W.: so there, Jessica is toasting with Lila, like, Hey, everything worked out to too, like, I'm sorry. I didn't see the whole thing going on with this Jacqueline girl. I'm sorry. I ever talked to her on the phone and let her borrow your car to come meet me.

Like, oh, that happened. Yeah. 

[01:13:04] Marissa F.: Borrowed the lime green triumph. I mean, can you imagine gladiators can just 

[01:13:08] Marissa W.: picture it? I can't because she hasn't even had her 16th birthday, 

[01:13:12] Marissa F.: Jessica Lila. I'm so angry and called him the wrong means. Lila is going to go meet her friends somewhere and she goes to get her car.

Her car is gone because. Jacquelyn drove her triumph to the mall to meet Lila's friends at the mall. We didn't, oh, we just 

[01:13:31] Marissa W.: skipped right over that. That was that's one. They were in Hawaii getting engaged. 

[01:13:35] Marissa F.: And of course Jacquelyn tells, Ava tells the friends tells everybody like, like, oh, Lila was so nice.

She let me borrow the car. And then Lila is getting home, graduated by Ava for like, you know, turning a page or whatever. It's just like, oh, anyway, honestly, 

[01:13:49] Marissa W.: I can't believe that George wasn't mad that this 15 year old girl basically stole a car or you probably didn't know well, but they, they were there toasting their engagement.

When, um, Lila came back from meeting. 

[01:14:02] Marissa F.: Oh, she did take the bus. She had to take the bus in dignity, 

[01:14:07] Marissa W.: someone like Lila on the bus because I don't take the bus.

[01:14:15] Marissa F.: So in the back to the end 

[01:14:18] Marissa W.: of the wedding, back to the end of the wedding, Jessica was apologized. She's like, I'm so sorry that I didn't see this. And, um, I, everything turned out just as you had planned, you know, even Jessica is like, this is so Lila. Yeah. Okay. Jessica told Layla, Hey, how come you invited Bruce?

Anyway, everyone knows how much you guys hate each other. Well, in case you haven't noticed more than half of sweet valley is here. We couldn't leave out our favorite rivals. Could we? No, I guess not Jessica said giggling. No, where's the guy you were telling me about Myla craned, her neck. She finally located Bruce standing next to a guy who looked like he had just stepped off a movie set.

He was very dark with chisel, Beatrice, just the kind of guy Lila wouldn't mind getting to know, excuse me. She said to Jessica and Amy poof both dissolved into laughter. So Lila decided it was definitely time to ask Bruce for another favor since the last one hadn't exactly worked out the way she had.

So that turns out to be 

[01:15:23] Marissa F.: Toby. Yeah. And Bruce is like, Hey Toby, we owe this girl a big favor. So Lila like starts like hanging around over Toby. She goes over to Evan and Evans, of course, who we know is a famously jealous guy, which is ironic. I mean, of course during that he like butterflies. Like it takes one to know one kind of, you know, no wonder he has no faith in anybody's fidelity.

He's so willing to double time. So. You know, he asks her like, who's that guy you're hanging over. And she's like, oh, that's Toby Clement. Uh, the guy who won the race, when you didn't, you know, you dropped out and she's like, and he's, you know, he, Lila is so proud because she's like, Evan's going to now, this is perfect.

Evan's going to think that I was just using him to get to, to help Toby and that my whole scheme to get him to drop out of the race was just to support Toby. Cause I really liked Toby and I was using them the whole time and isn't that perfect. But that's what he's going to think, 

[01:16:17] Marissa W.: want to admit that she actually was doing and had feelings for this.

[01:16:21] Marissa F.: Well, so how did you feel about the ending? You said you, you liked it because it was Lila, but like if you were Lila, would that have been more satisfying to you then just telling them off. 

[01:16:32] Marissa W.: If I was Lila, I think, I think this is, you know, perfectly Lila. Um, I don't agree because I don't know. I don't expect.

A 16 year old to be so emotionally mature enough to admit that like, Hey, you used me and it hurt me, but that's who she 

[01:16:54] Marissa F.: is. Yeah. I think I wanted Evan to have more of a comeuppance than just thinking that he was being used. 

[01:17:02] Marissa W.: Do you think that he would learn his lesson with this? 

[01:17:05] Marissa F.: I don't know. No. He's, he's going to walk away from this thinking like girls are liars, you know, like, like all women are twisting me around and like Jacqueline was a liar when you left me for Bruce Lila was using me to get to Toby, 

[01:17:21] Marissa W.: but did he really care about Sonia?

Because he gave Lyla like this whole, you know, this whole spiel about Sonia, which we don't know 

[01:17:30] Marissa F.: if that's true. I think he probably cared about her to some extent, but then 

[01:17:34] Marissa W.: we also learned that Sonia has never been to the race. Well, that's what he says. Oh, that's true. That's true. His friends were like, you must be Sonia.

And she's like, no, I'm 

[01:17:44] Marissa F.: like, that's true. That's true. But I think that regardless of how much you really cared about her, like they were in a relationship. So he's like creating this catalog of like wrongs. This is, I mean, this is my psychologizing Evan. I feel like now he's got this list of like all the girls that misused him when he was a player in all of these.

Right. He was sure Jacqueline lied to him, but he was cheating on Lyla with Jacquelyn. I'm sure Sonia did leave him for Bruce, but largely because he was so. Angry about her even dancing with Bruce that he ended things with her. Yeah. So leaving the door open for Bruce and her to start a thing. Um, the, and the situation with Lila Wila would have never broken up with Evan.

If she hadn't known that he was cheating with Jacqueline, you know, they would still be together today to him. Yeah. She was, she was thought she was in love with him, you know? Yeah. And that's rare for Lyla. Yeah. It hasn't happened in one of these books before she, yeah. She's been in less with some dudes, 

[01:18:42] Marissa W.: for sure.

Um, I, I did like the ending and the way that it all came together. Like last minute. Hail Mary pass and, and it works out for her. Yeah. Um, because Lila always gets her way 

[01:18:59] Marissa F.: as the ending. Well, the book that is called superstar Lila's story, it is a very appropriate ending. So the point about 

[01:19:06] Marissa W.: that, I was getting toward the end of the book, honestly, asking myself, how is this going to work out?

Like I'm, I've got six more pages and she still has to figure out how to get 

[01:19:16] Marissa F.: rid of the Borden's. Yeah. Yeah. It's really all. I mean, in a book that's over 200 pages long, like a full, like, you know, quarter or third of a book, more than usual, it all comes down to the end. Pretty exciting. It 

[01:19:29] Marissa W.: was just like a dump.

It was like the whole 199 pages. We're leading up to this moment and it all just, you know, Domino's, it all just came together. And, um, I actually really liked that because it was very much Lyla. It, it gave me the same feeling. The end of a hallmark movie does like totally. If it all came together, Power of friendship 

[01:19:51] Marissa F.: for the holiday season.

And speaking of the holiday season is a very fitting way to end this visit. We both have a fiscal copy of this book because this is a special edition and you can't get eBooks of that. Um, the very end of this, this book ends again with this sweet valley wants to know what's your new year's resolution.

So having this new year's resolution contest and a pretty, pretty great, how are you planning to start the 1990s Marissa? 

[01:20:18] Marissa W.: Oh gosh. You know, I thought about it when it got to this page and I like, okay, 1989, I was, I was seven. Um, and all I really cared about was who framed. Roger. Um, and I'm trying to think, how did I start the nineties?

Um, I th I had resolved to draw more and I think as I start 2022, I should have the same resolution. Um, 

[01:20:44] Marissa F.: my family started the nineties by moving to the Indiana suburbs. Um, There's not a new year's resolution that I have from, uh, Chicago proper. Okay. So I, uh, that's not my plan for 2022. Um, goodness. I like, yeah, but I'm going to clean my studio, AK my room.

That's my big resolution to try not to live in squalor. I know I'm exaggerating, but you know how it is. It's like you have this room you spent, we spend our whole lives now working from home in the same room. And now it's my recording studio too. And it's just like, all my stuff is in here. I live in an apartment.

I have more stuff than fits in the amount of space that I have. And I need to deal with that. 

[01:21:32] Marissa W.: That's our resolution, honestly. Oh, you haven't seen my, because I moved just down the street three months ago. Yeah. And it's the same thing I'm like, I need to, I need, why do I have all this stuff? Yeah. Um, and I, I need to put them in places and it's really hard to get 

[01:21:50] Marissa F.: rid of stuff, you know, urban millennial problems when they say, uh, well, so did this book, you read this book as a girl.

I did. Um, did you remember what happened in it? Like was it did cool, 

[01:22:03] Marissa W.: very cool. Um, and I really thought, um, cause like in my fan fiction, Which I remember more talk about that. Okay. Um, and my fan fiction, which I remember more than the story itself, she loses her riches for a minute. Um, and she has to figure out, oh yeah, I know ten-year-old Marissa.

Um, like, um, she has to figure out how to live without her ridges, but of course she like gets it all back at the end. That was awesome. Yeah. So I really thought that I was inspired by that, in this book and I forgot just how rich she was. Number one. Um, when they start talking about Fowler crest, I started thinking like, oh yeah.

Um, you know, they talk about, they talk about the name of the place, where she lives. And that should say something about how rich she is when you live in a place that has a name, especially when it's named after you. Um, when I was a girl, I was really impressed by what she was. By like, she was richer than the Wakefields and the Wakefields wanted to be like her.

Well, Jessica at least wanted to be like her. So I think that in far, as far as the sweet valley totem goes, oh yeah. Um, that said a lot and about why I admired her so much. If these. Perfect. Blue eyed angel girls looked up to Lila for some reason, so much so that they kind of have to break her down when they're with her, like, oh, you're so rich.

[01:23:35] Marissa F.: I'm sorry. It's so hard being 

[01:23:37] Marissa W.: so rich. And then we, we go into her life and yeah, it is kind of. 

[01:23:42] Marissa F.: He's got her own problems. 

[01:23:43] Marissa W.: Yeah. She's not, she's not perfect, but she likes to put up the persona that she's perfect. And, um, that made her 

[01:23:51] Marissa F.: really great on Instagram. Oh, totally. Definitely. As an influencer, even though she doesn't need the money wrench with daddy, 

[01:23:59] Marissa W.: hashtag salmon, 

[01:24:04] Marissa F.: Butch salmon hashtag all this office.

that's awesome. Well, we have a few bits of business to take care of before the episode is over. Um, so first things first, we did not talk about the cover of the book largely because it's very simple. Uh, it's just a picture of Lila Fowler looking out, but the look 

[01:24:25] Marissa W.: on her face she's she's like, I 

[01:24:28] Marissa F.: am better than you.

[01:24:29] Marissa W.: Yes. Lila Fowler is, 

uh, her soft Pantene pro V. Uh, 

[01:24:36] Marissa F.: yes. And she sh like upside down, like I'm looking at yours upside down right now. And she looks really sad, but right side up, she just looks like pure. Like, I mean, business, like don't fuck with me. I'm Wila Fowler. Yeah. Uh, also Jennifer Connelly was the model for Myla.

Fowler looks so much like Jennifer godly, like, so just picture Lila Fowler in labyrinth. How about, 

[01:25:03] Marissa W.: yeah. Les eyebrows then Jennifer Connolly and she's completely Lila 

[01:25:09] Marissa F.: Fowler. I think that's real. I don't think that's just a myth. I'm pretty sure that's a real fact. Yeah. You heard it here first, everybody, or maybe not, uh, correctly by making the thing she's wearing a beautiful purple turtleneck.

Probably cashmere because Baila with black Pearl. Black pearls, finest kind of Pearl. 

[01:25:31] Marissa W.: And, um, more rare than your usual 

[01:25:34] Marissa F.: Pearl necklace. Yeah. And the superstar books have a pretty star on the cover and it's appropriate that Lila is the first superstar because she's Lila. 

[01:25:43] Marissa W.: Yeah. Um, I also got to say, I appreciate as someone who does design work from time to time, I appreciate the font choices of the metallic superstar above the bowl.

Seriff 

[01:25:58] Marissa F.: finds this wireless story cover has fully three different Sara fonts on it, but that's okay. They are all serving their purpose. Um, and all right, so that's one thing. Uh, there has been some significant sweet valley news recently, which is that there is, uh, officially. Uh, sweet valley series in development.

That's for the CW, from the people that made gossip girl. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh my gosh. If anybody at CW is listening to this, I have a master's degree in screen writing and, uh, I'm an experienced screenwriter with a history as a writer's room assistant on TV. So it's come on, come on. Yeah. I have put out money 

[01:26:44] Marissa W.: to not have you at least consult get 61 of these books.

[01:26:51] Marissa F.: You got the super special, but I have, uh, gone on the record on this show many times over the years over like how I would do the sweet valley series. I don't know what the show will be like. Um, if it will come to fruition. Uh, but I do know that. The CWS seems like the right place for it. Absolutely. And I can be flexible and you know, again, my toes at least have a walk on roll.

Come on. Ooh. Yeah, I can play Robin Wilson.

Probably. They're not going to cover. That can happen. Is that, oh my God. Um, you do Ms. Waller. How about I could be the lowest, lowest Waller hoo. I don't know. She's background character at this point. She's good. She'll get her book at some point. I'm sure I am 38 years old. I play young, whatever. Uh, you know, I know some people that play teenagers, I'm going to be, you could be the French teacher.

say 

[01:27:57] Marissa W.: all that. 

[01:27:59] Marissa F.: All right. Last bit of business, is that a sweet valley diaries will return in 2022 of course, with, uh, with season seven. I am aiming at late January. Depends a little bit on the guests here, everybody. Um, I really appreciate how many people have reached out to say they're eagerly, awaiting the show's return.

I am too. Um, if you ever wonder why I take these hiatuses many podcasts, uh, just keep going. They just keep pressing through week after week. Uh, this is a show that requires a lot of logistics on my end and it is of course, a passion project. Um, not only do I not have any sponsors or ads, uh, this is super indie show, but.

I, it actually costs me money to make the show today, save any money by not doing it, but, you know, I love it. It's my passion project. Just paper books and free these paper books you gotta pay. Yeah. You gotta pay for the, for the physical copy of the super additions. So, um, I will certainly be working on a way, uh, to try and, um, allow fans of the show to support the show, to support my work.

And hopefully, um, if that is something that can, uh, have some legs. Uh, then hiatuses can be shorter and less frequent or perhaps even nonexistent in the future. We'll see how it goes, but I really, really appreciate you for listening. And I really want to say a huge thank you to everybody that has told a friend about the show.

I think that's the best thing you can do. I think the show is a weird sell. I have said from the beginning that I wanted it to be a show where people who didn't know anything about sweet valley could listen and enjoy it. And I know that some of you who are listening to the show, don't know anything about sweet valley and listen, and enjoy it.

But I feel like it's a hard buy-in if you don't remember the series. I know from my statistics that people go back to show number one and listen from the beginning. That's awesome. But like any podcast, the show has gotten a lot better. For years it's actually, this month is the four year anniversary, a suit valley diary.

Thank you very much. So, you know, tell a friend, try to tell the internet and the world that they don't have to start at the beginning at all. They could start here and listen backwards. That's a fun way to listen to serialize podcast. Then you're already in love with the show. By the time you get to the beginning, um, stay tuned.

I will let everyone know when there is an opportunity to support the show financially. Should you so desire and, uh, until then, uh, I wish everybody the happiest of 20, 20 twos, 

[01:30:33] Marissa W.: I feel like they should leave comments about what their new year's resolution is for 2022. Yeah. Or to let us know how you started 19, the 1990s, 

[01:30:44] Marissa F.: you started the 1990s would be great as well.

So you can. Do that, by going to Instagram, uh, where this show is at sweet valley diaries, uh, or you can also follow in comment about these things on Twitter at sweet valley, sweet valley diaries. And, oh my gosh, I have had the Tik TOK experience where you're just kinda like messing around. And then all of a sudden you have a random post that has like a thousand likes or whatever.

And you're like, I didn't do anything to make this happen. This is weird. And I got a bunch of randos on there who were like, trying to tell me what happens in the book I'm talking about. I'm like, guys, I know there's a podcast listen to, but that's fun. So we'll see if that ever happens again. But, um, we should take tack right now.

Yeah. I think that I am pretty sure that, uh, at least some part of this conversation is going to 1:00 AM on text. 

[01:31:36] Marissa W.: Yeah. You should really actually do all of that. Boy 

[01:31:39] Marissa F.: descriptions. Ooh, that's a great idea. Okay. So look for that. I think, um, I took that candle is flax Bart, which was my last name, because like I said, didn't really plan on becoming a sweet valley tech talker, but that sweet valley takes over every aspect of one's life valley talk.

Yes. 

[01:31:57] Marissa W.: Yeah. 

[01:31:58] Marissa F.: Sweet valley talk. It's the corner of tick-tock is very small, which is probably how I ended up with people finding my post and leaving comments and say things like, oh my gosh, I remember these books. Yeah. And stuff. It goes a long way. Yes. I remember them too. And so do you Marissa, 

[01:32:15] Marissa W.: thank you for the walk down memory 

[01:32:17] Marissa F.: lane.

Oh, I'm so glad you were game. Oh, always game. And what lesson did we take away from this one? They'll leave the gladiators with 

[01:32:25] Marissa W.: you can never be too Lila. Um, 

[01:32:28] Marissa F.: you can never be too rich, too beautiful or too Lila Fowler. 

[01:32:36] Marissa W.: And I feel like I should live my. In the same way. 

[01:32:40] Marissa F.: All right. Well, we'll check back in the end of next year and see how your year of Lila to Marissa as are thanking you for listening.

Bye bye-bye

Is this the same arrest. So you talk to you last year. Are there two tumors, a solid, and one is a Stuart too. All right. I did say that I made a lot of Marissa's, but that would be truly strange. The only 

[01:33:16] Marissa W.: other like that woman who works for Yahoo, the VP of Yahoo. Sure. That's the only other Marissa. 

[01:33:23] Marissa F.: I was like, Ooh.

Yeah,

Yahoo. She's of the yahoos of the, of the Philadelphia, um, part in the book like bursa Meyer where Samira, I didn't Google it. Everybody. I just remembered it. I'm like acting like this is a part of the podcast. Okay. Well now you've got your brain. You're talking. I know you're ready. Yeah. I remembered Marissa Meyer and I made a joke about last names.

We're now we're firing on all cylinders here. Ready? Ready? Let's do this.

Extra Drama #58: Don't Call Him Jeff (w/guest Shey Zanotti)

IN BOYFRIEND MEMORIAM: Books #31-58

Shey Zanotti is back, and memories of (the very much still alive) Jeffrey French abound. Remember the time he scared away those thugs who wanted to steal Ronnie's car? Remember the time Elizabeth thought he was falling in love with Enid? Or perhaps the time she thought he had fallen in love with Olivia. So many memories! This, and some fresh new ideas for The Creek, in today's Extra Drama!

Media referenced in today's episode:

• Beverly Hills, 90210
• Clueless
• Gilmore Girls
• Dawson's Creek
• New Girl
• Cheers
  
  

---

AUTO-GENERATED TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS:

Marissa and Shey

[00:00:00] Marissa: It's extra drama for book number 58 broken hearted. Hello, gladiators. Welcome back to sweet valley diaries. It's extra drama. And that means that we're going to talk additionally more about the book from last week, which in this case was broken hearted, the book where Elizabeth accidentally breaks Jeffrey French's heart.

And I'm joined once again by Shey Zanotti. Hi Shey. 

[00:00:42] Shey: Hey,

[00:00:43] Marissa: last week we were talking about your interest in. Jeffrey French. 

[00:00:48] Shey: my love for Jeffrey French.

[00:00:50] Marissa: Your love for Jeffrey French? Yeah. So I take it like you remember Jeffrey from like back in the day, reading these books.

[00:00:58] Shey: Oh, yeah. I had a stuffed animal when I was a kid named Jeffrey French. I think it was a white tiger or a snow leopard, but I love Jeffrey French that much. Like the cat's name wasn't just Jeffrey. It was Jeffrey French.

[00:01:14] Marissa: That is a lot of love. Like how old were you, do you think when you were reading the books?

[00:01:19] Shey: Eight or nine.

[00:01:21] Marissa: Wow. Not even 12 and up, this is what we're dealing with here, people.

Ha 

[00:01:26] Shey: ha 

[00:01:28] Marissa: ha...

12 and up is bad enough, but we've got eight and nine year olds. That's like me watching 90210 when I was way too young to be watching it. It was on, you know, I was curious,

you know 

[00:01:39] Shey: know that I knew sweet valley twins existed.

[00:01:42] Marissa: Ahh, yeah, I, I don't remember the order for me, like, cause I had some sweet valley kids books, which are like even younger than sweet valley twins and I had sweet valley twins, but I don't really remember the order. I don't know if it was something I was accidentally buying from like the Scholastic book club, but these aren't Scholastic books.

So maybe those are, I'm not really sure, but somehow I got my hands on some of these books, but not the sweet valley high ones. Um, but I didn't know the difference until I was an adult apparently. Cause when I picked up that sweet valley high book, when I was like 21 and read it, I uh, was like, oh, this is different.

That's my story.

[00:02:24] Shey: I often read books. I shouldn't be reading when I was a child.

[00:02:28] Marissa: Ah, excellent. Well, do you remember reading the Jeffrey French books? Like, do you remember your experience of him as Elizabeth?

[00:02:36] Shey: Yeah. I remember him showing up and all the girls fighting over him.

[00:02:41] Marissa: Yes, that's a perfect reminiscence. You know, if we're going to dedicate this to the memory of Jeffrey French as Elizabeth Wakefield's boyfriend, that is perfect. So he shows up in like book 31 is the book that you are referencing, which is called, Taking Sides. And in taking sides, Laila, Fowler, and Enid, uh, Rollins are both really into Jeffery and each twin has like a dog in the fight.

You know, they're trying to get their girl in with Jeffrey. And it becomes clear by the end of the book that Jeffrey French has only interested in Elizabeth. And, uh, she realizes she's kind of into him too, and she feels pretty bad about it. It's not that Enid is so into Jeffrey, like Elizabeth has really been doubling down and kind of like forcing Enid to pursue him even after unit is like, I don't really think he's into me, Liz. Okay.

[00:03:37] Shey: Perfect teen movie set up. It's perfect. That he's really in love with Elizabeth.

[00:03:44] Marissa: It's very romantic when he reveals it to her. And I guess in a way it kind of puts the whole thing into a little bit of question it's like, is Elizabeth just going along with it? But she seems like deep in her heart. Like the reason she was really pushing for Enid to be with Jeffrey was like Elizabeth was seeing all of Jeffrey's great traits.

So she was, it was easy for her to enumerate them to Enid. Um, Jeffrey was, he was a photographer. I don't know why I'm like eulogizing him. He's still around, but like that they, that he's, he took pictures for the paper. And so they spent a lot of time together on the Oracle, which is something that. Todd never really showed much interest in the work.

Maybe he will now. Probably not because he doesn't go to sweet valley high, but do you remember the one where Aaron Dallas is like, keeps on getting into fights?

[00:04:36] Shey: I remember Aaron being Jeffrey's like best friend. They did soccer together and all of that.

[00:04:44] Marissa: Well, so Jeffrey was from Oregon and like they met at soccer camp. So like Aaron, Dallas is the one person that Jeffrey already knows before he gets to the school. But I'm just kind of trying to think of like highlights in Jeffrey's tenure as Elizabeth's boyfriend. And one of them is in, uh, the book.

Out of control. When Aaron is getting into a lot of fights and Jeffery is having to like intervene and they even get into a pretty big fight 

[00:05:12] Shey: 

he's

such a good guy. I also like, like, he refuses to be called Jeff.

only Jeffrey 

[00:05:20] Marissa: oh, that comes up at the book where, uh, it's another soccer book, which is the one where it was actually the first book of this season where, um, Ronnie Edwards is like getting involved in betting on soccer games. And, uh, Ronnie keeps on trying to call Jeffrey "Jeff," and Jeffrey finally, like it explodes over it.

"Buddy. We're not friends like that! And if we were, you would know that I don't like to be called Jeff. Um, before that there was the one where Elizabeth was going to maybe move away. She was going to go to school in Switzerland. Cause he's books are frigging obsessed with Switzerland and, uh, Jeffrey and Enid, like work together on some kind of like going away present.

And I think Elizabeth briefly thinks that they are falling in love. Like she's going to leave town and like before she's even gone, like before her bed even grows cold, uh, 

[00:06:19] Shey: Okay. 

[00:06:20] Marissa: Enid has already swooped in to, uh, to take Jeffrey from her. But that was all in Elizabeth Head, man. Gee, maybe Elizabeth isn't the most rational girlfriend in the world.

[00:06:34] Shey: Maybe, maybe, I mean, Jeffrey Jeffrey will live on past this book, but you know, I don't want to give spoilers on that.

[00:06:45] Marissa: Oh, well, I mean, before we get to the future of Jeffery, how could we forget the time when Amy Sutton brought the slam book to sweet valley high and Lila Fowler, going back to her original interest in Jeffrey, makes up a story about Jeffrey and, oh, it was like Olivia, I think, uh, how that they were like falling for each other and Elizabeth dismisses it at first, but then she hears the story about them, like kissing in a car or something.

It's not true, but she is sure that Jeffrey is cheating on her with Olivia.

[00:07:25] Shey: Oh, who, you know?

[00:07:30] Marissa: Yeah. So what's next for Jeffrey? I mean, we don't want any spoilers, but you're telling me he's still going to be in the books.

[00:07:38] Shey: Yeah. I think it takes a while. Like they just kind of ignore him.

[00:07:44] Marissa: Yeah. That makes sense.

[00:07:46] Shey: and then he, yeah, he

[00:07:47] Marissa: That sounds like these books.

[00:07:49] Shey: He gets his groove back on a little bit. Like you don't never hear about him again.

[00:07:54] Marissa: Well, that's good. But when I say that sounds like these books it's like recently, like the very last book was about Olivia Davidson and in that book it would have been easy to kind of bring up what happened with Olivia and her old boyfriend, Roger, in this book, because it would have been an easy commentary to make on Elizabeth's relationship with Todd.

Like, is that going to be a strain? And maybe it'll come up in the next book. I'm curious to see if they remember to be like, yeah, the teens of Sweet Valley have been here before. Sometimes all of a sudden one party in a relationship having a bunch more money is complicated. Uh, but they didn't do it this time.

They didn't talk about the mini- courses that were so important to the book last week. Didn't talk about them at all. Uh, instead we've got new schools. I'm excited to spend more time at Lovett Academy.

[00:08:50] Shey: Yeah. I mean, it's a weird B plot. Like, and then there's Lovett Academy.

[00:08:55] Marissa: I wonder if at some point, uh, Todd is going to return to Sweet Valley High.

[00:09:01] Shey: I think he does.

[00:09:02] Marissa: seems like a pain in the ass to have him be a Lovett Academy all the time.

[00:09:07] Shey: I mean, it's a long 

[00:09:09] Marissa: It's a commute! Can we talk about that? They explicitly say that it's a 40 minute commute. That's a long time to drive to school every day

[00:09:16] Shey: Yeah, but if it's outside of LA that's like five miles.

[00:09:19] Marissa: Yeah, I guess you're right. Like, well, like if you watch an older movie, I think that even in, is it Clueless where Cher says that it takes 20 minutes to get everywhere in LA?

LA 

And now, now that is 40, think, is the rule of thumb. Takes 40 minutes to get everywhere. Um, but this was a 1989. This is pre-Clueless.

[00:09:43] Shey: but that's the same, like it's not that different than like Gilmore Girls. Rory's going half an hour

each way to go to school.

[00:09:52] Marissa: And she never switched back to public school. Hugh Grayson, by the way, who goes to a different high school, that's Enid's boyfriend. We haven't heard much about him in many, many books, but he was present for this book. Um, he didn't have any lines or anything. We didn't lay eyes on him, but he was around, he goes, I think he goes to Big Mesa.

[00:10:15] Shey: Oh, that sounds familiar.

[00:10:17] Marissa: So Gladiators, if anybody has not listened to the full back catalog of Sweet Valley Diaries episodes, this episode was a quick primer, a little catch-up on the, on some of the things that have gone down in the past 20 to 30 books, as we were saying in the previous episode, Elizabeth, just like in pure book timeline form, has been with Jeffrey for a few more books than she was with Todd.

[00:10:39] Shey: Because he's better than Todd.

[00:10:42] Marissa: Well, it does make you wonder, right? Like what was the, like, I would love to know editorially, like what was the thought process behind sending Todd away, behind creating Jeffrey? Because sure. Jeffrey's great and everything, but Jeffrey is a bit of a cipher by which, I mean, he doesn't have a very strong personality. Um, other than just like being a good kind of go along, get along kind of guy. He has a couple moments where he's like very tall and that's his personality, but like he's slightly imposing. Like he doesn't take any guff. Like he has some moments like that. Oh, we didn't even talk about the book about Shelley Novak, where she's the basketball player and Jeffrey wants to enter this photography contest that the paper is having, the Sweet Valley News, and a better photographer enters the contest.

And Jeffrey's just like, oh, that guy's way better than me. Yeah, no question. He should definitely win. Cause he's, he's such a good guy, but he's a little bit, I mean, he's a little bit. Bland. One thing that I loved about Todd that I hope will return was that Todd often like flat out, told Elizabeth how much Jessica sucked and, and kind and he, and like even kind of use the H word with Jessica like that.

He "hated" her

[00:12:06] Shey: I thought you meant "ho." I was like, whoa, I don't remember Todd getting like.

[00:12:15] Marissa: No, no actual slurs against Jessica. Um, yeah, I think characters have referred to Jessica as a real witch, uh, sometimes, but that's, as far as we've gone in terms of any slurs against her, but, uh, Uh, Jeffrey, you know, he didn't love Jessica, but Jessica, I dunno. They just didn't have much interaction.

They were just sort of like both. They would be there. I didn't have any strong feelings one way or the other. And in this book though, Jessica gives Todd a big hug and he like swings her around in the air. It's like they have a really happy reunion. So 

[00:12:57] Shey: Okay. I mean, I think Todd's just excited that anyone looks like Elizabeth, so he's like, Hey.

[00:13:04] Marissa: well, early on in the book, there's this moment where Jessica, like right at the start, she's talking to Elizabeth about how Todd is coming home. And she looks at herself in the mirror and she's just like, how could he not want to be with anyone who looks like this? And she's talking about herself.

And like, so, you know, obliquely, referring to the fact that Elizabeth looks exactly like her. 

But am I, sorry, I got worried at that point that maybe this was going to be one of those books where Elizabeth, was choosing Jeffrey, but Jessica tricks Todd, into thinking that she's Elizabeth, like, I dunno, that would have been maybe more interesting than what actually happens in the book, but they can only do that shit so many times, I guess. But I do wonder, like, what was, if there was reader feedback that made the creators of the series ultimately choose to bring Jeffrey back or is it just like, you know, on a sitcom when you're really rooting for a couple and then they get together or any kind of TV show and then it's like, okay, well now they're together now.

What is this show

[00:14:14] Shey: Right.

[00:14:15] Marissa: like Nick and Jess on The New Girl is what comes to mind. Or I don't know, Dawson and Pacey. Sorry. I mean, Dawson and Joey. 

[00:14:29] Shey: I was like, wow, I don't remember that 

[00:14:32] Marissa: that was perfect Freudian slip on my part because there's nothing that, I mean, I didn't even realize this about myself, but there's nothing I would have loved more than to see Dawson and Pacey finally fall in love. I meant Dawson and Joey, but I think we all know what I really meant. And it was what I said. It's just, wasn't a good example of the, of the thing I was trying to describe because the show didn't go there. Do you have any of those you can think of where like two characters get together and the show has to break them up because it's boring for them to just be together.

[00:15:07] Shey: No, cause, I mean, you have to like, that's every television show. There has to be that strife. There has to be like, Jessica always has some new object of her affection. So you can't, I guess keep Elizabeth static the whole time and not have her relationships evolving at all. So I, I get why they brought Todd back.

[00:15:33] Marissa: Well, that's interesting that you should mention that because that's basically Jessica's issue with any time, whether it's Todd or Jeffrey at a certain point, Jessica is like, this is so boring. Elizabeth. You're always with the same guy. well, I have, uh, gone on the record as saying about myself that I have, a syndrome.

I believe I named a FRCLS, which let's see if I can remember what that stands for. Um, first... relationship... Nope. Gladiators that are in what freckle stands for, but it was a whole, it was the whole concept that I came up with many moons ago, which was just like, I have this tendency to be really all in for whoever. First Romantic Coupling Loyalty Syndrome, that's what it stands for. So whatever is presented to me as like, this is the relationship that you're supposed to ship.

This is like the Sam and Diane of this program or book or whatever. I'm like all in for that. And will accept no substitutes, much to my dismay. Do you, by any chance, see a pattern in yourself of. Like second relationships, or like later on when a program does that, is, are you ready to get on board with like the new guy?

[00:16:54] Shey: I can't think of anything

[00:16:56] Marissa: Like, I don't know. Did you watch 90210?

[00:16:59] Shey: I was a David Silver fan the beginning beginning. So, I mean, I definitely always thought it should be Brenda and Dylan. I did not like the Kelly plot line.

[00:17:13] Marissa: That's what I was going to bring up. If you were a Kelly and Dylan, maybe we would have, we would have legs for this one,

but, um, 

[00:17:20] Shey: at all.

[00:17:21] Marissa: Uh, all right, well, I'm with ya. I'm with you on Brenda and Dylan. I was right there, like 10 years old, however old I was, I was like, "is she going to sleep with him after the prom?"

You know, like I wanted to know, let me tell you, like, I wanted to know a lot. Uh, so I think I recorded that on VHS and like went and washed it in the attic. Cause like, I didn't want my parents to like, see, it was like it was porn or something. And let me tell ya, nothing. I mean, it was on fox on like regular prime time.

Like nothing particularly lurid happened, but

[00:17:52] Shey: No, I feel it was like, here's a room key and then it was over.

[00:17:59] Marissa: I don't even remember if they did it. I think they did because then there was some kind of pregnancy scare and that ended up being what it was really about. And I was like, oh man, no fair.

[00:18:09] Shey: Hey, they had to teach us our lesson somehow,

[00:18:12] Marissa: Okay. Yeah. Yep. They sure did. And so do these books and the lesson we learned this week was, sometimes you just got to go back with your old boyfriend. Sorry.

[00:18:23] Shey: even though you have the best man in the world already.

[00:18:27] Marissa: He's really proven himself. I have to, I have to agree with you. That he has proven himself. And I, and I guess I'll say that I had a little bit of a change of heart around the topic of Todd when the whole Devlin thing happened a little bit. Cause like, come on. I don't care how much Suzanne Devlin has changed.

Like you don't really know this woman. And one of the main things you know about her is that she's just, like, pure evil. Like, so how much do you have to change? I don't know. It was complicated, but it seemed like it was a bad look for Todd for that to be the girl he fell for.

[00:19:06] Shey: Yes,

[00:19:07] Marissa: Yeah. So, well, Shey, this has been delightful.

Um, Gladiators. I hope you enjoyed this trip down Jeffrey French memory lane with a detours into 90210 and Dawson's Creek. Why not?

[00:19:21] Shey: always, I am always and will forever be the president of the Jeffrey French fanclub.

[00:19:28] Marissa: Aw. Well, um, I appreciate you joining me today and last week in that capacity, and I'm sure the Gladiators feel the same way. Um, thanks so much Gladiators. Remember that you can subscribe to the podcast, wherever podcasts are found. Like obviously you probably did that already, but also tell a friend about the show.

Uh, you could send me an email at [email protected]. Did you love Jeffrey French? Uh, do you remember Jeffrey French, the context around which, you know, when you first knew that you were a Jeffery French girl? Do you have Second Romantic Coupling Loyalty Syndrome or are you like me, uh, sort of blindly devoted to whoever the creators of a project trot out first for you, or maybe also like me, you're hashtag Dawson and Pacey all the way.

Um,

[00:20:18] Shey: Yes, long live Dawson and Pacey

[00:20:21] Marissa: Yeah, let's bring back that series so that we can make that happen. That would be fun for me to watch, um, and many, uh, uh, many of us I'm sure. Tune in next week to see what's up. Do you think maybe Liz and Todd are going to have some troubles around Todd's newfound wealth? Ah, probably not.

It's probably fine. These two never have a misunderstanding or anything. It's cool. Thanks Shey.

[00:20:47] Shey: Thanks Marissa.

[00:20:48] Marissa: Bye. 

  {closing theme}

[00:20:50] Marissa: That's going to be like one of the more like useful and informative episodes of the show. I think it's actually about something.

I had to do some research to make it, to make it happen.

[00:21:14] Shey: Awesome. It was a good, it did it hurt me to read it. I was like, oh no, I think I know what's going to happen, but oh,

[00:21:21] Marissa: Oh, yeah. I don't know. There was still a moment in the end when it was like, it's almost like the writers were like, should we have her choose Jeffrey? Uh, we can't. That was beside the whole point of bringing Todd back. 

Extra Drama #57: A Comfortable Petard w/guest readers Chris & Paris from Terrible Book Club

Hope you don't zap yourselves!

Chris and Paris from Terrible Book Club return! Jessica slums it in electronics class and Lila scams her pedagogically lazy dressmaking instructor in the TEACHER CRUSH b-plot. Plus, super-spoilers for Olivia's future! Extra drama indeed! 

 

Listen to Terrible Book Club

More about The Zorn Palette

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THE BELOW TRANSCRIPT WAS AUTO-GENERATED. Sorry for any nonsense!

[00:00:04] Marissa: It's extra drama for book number 57 teacher crush 

Hello, Chris Paris and Marissa that's me are back again to talk more about teacher crush. 

[00:00:28] Chris: Would an appropriate moments momentg up the B plot that we've been entirely ignoring? Cause we're kind of talking about, we're talking about consequences of actions, 

[00:00:37] Marissa: I think it's about time that we should get through the B plot. Uh, you guys alluded to Jessica's awfulness , but we haven't said much about Jessica so let's, uh, let's talk a little quickly about what's going on in the B plot. 

[00:00:50] Chris: Um, essentially Jessica gets it in her head that Lila is lying about her dad working at some movie 

[00:01:00] Marissa: her

dad's dating 

her dad is his dad is dating a soap opera star named, Anika hunt. And Jessica thinks that Lilah is making this up.

[00:01:08] Chris: And so, you know, she's ha she has to come up with a project for her, for electronics class. And she has no idea what to do until she has the brilliant stroke of genius to rig up a lie detector, to catch Lila in her lie.

[00:01:22] Marissa: It's going to be so embarrassing when the whole school finds out that Laila was lying about Anika hunt and her dad.

[00:01:28] Chris: of course she did. It's Randy to do the work for her once again, which also Randy just does it. And there's no consequence for this action also

[00:01:38] Marissa: Okay. Although she does get embarrassed at the end of the book, because she's hosted by her own petard. Right? Like she is, they put 

her in the lie detector

[00:01:48] Chris: but the hoisting is not even like a foot off of the ground. The patard is comfortable and fine because, so she puts Laila in there, lie detector machine as if a lie detector is like admissible objective evidence, which as I'm sure we all know by now it's true cash.

[00:02:05] Marissa: Right. That's that's a 

[00:02:06] Chris: it's made by a high school student and intellect two week electronics course yet.

Totally admissible evidence, Jessica. Anyway, she hooks the thing, turns out Laila, isn't lying about that. Or at least her lie detector says that. And like, there's like one line about a couple of people laughing that at Jessica for like, it was like, not even really laughing. It's just like some people were kind of giggling.

And then Jessica was like, well, all right, I guess, and then nothing happens after 

that. She's mildly embarrassed, slightly a little bit. But faces no true consequence for honestly, like putting Wila through a lot of bullshit because previously she's like directly accusing Laila, like basically going, like, I know you're making this up.

[00:02:47] Marissa: And Lila is hurt. Her feelings are hurt that Jessica would accuse her of such a thing. Of course, Lila has got her own drama going on through the mini courses. This book is got a lot of plates spinning and Lila's plate is that she's in this dress design class. And the book has planted for us from the very beginning that Jessica has the dress that Lila is making.

In like, uh, this designed exactly the same way as what Lila is making and, apparently even the same fabric because when Lila screws up her dress to the point that she would be mortified to wear it in front of everybody, which is something she's supposed to do as a part of this dress design class, is that there's like a fashion runway at the big, you know, showcase event, she needs to borrow Jessica's dress so that she can lie and pretend that she is wearing the dress that she made.

So as to save face, luckily Lila has a bit of dirt that she is using as bait to kind of trade Jessica. Uh, like I have a secret. I know you can't stand anybody having a secret. So if you let me borrow the dress, I'll tell you 

my secret. and the secret doesn't have anything to do with this book.

That's a secret, it's just set up the next one.

[00:04:04] Paris: I also like, while we're talking about this, this is, this is a moment when, when Laila's grappling with the dress disaster, this is another moment where these course, these mini courses were revealed as total horseshit because Lila goes to her teacher and is like, Hey, you know, I really had a hard time.

I couldn't, you know, something, I messed up. She like sewed a frill on the wrong side of the dress. I don't know. She did something needed help. She goes to the teacher and the teacher says 

the whole point of the workshop is to design and wear your dress. The teachers sympathetically after Lila told her what a mess her dress had turned in.

I'm sorry, Lila, but you shouldn't feel embarrassed. I'm sure a lot of students' projects haven't turned out exactly the way they planned.

 Well, no, you should be like, oh, man, you're just learning a new skill. You've only been learning this for two weeks. Sure. Let me help you because showing you how to fix the stress is a learning experience in fashion.

Like learning how to salvage something you made that didn't come out the way you wanted is, is a valuable skill in, in fashion. Yes.

[00:05:19] Marissa: Hmm. Yeah, no help from her at all.

She 

seems 

[00:05:22] Chris: lady is absolutely phoning this shit in that, like, this is a perfect mentor opportunity. This is like the reason you are teaching people. If you don't teach people by just saying, do the thing and then watching them do the thing to like good bad, that's not teaching. You must give them guidance and put them on a path that makes them make slightly less mistakes than they would normally, or at least needless mistakes, or at least give them some helpful advice on how to fix a mistake.

This. And I, you know what, no teacher in this book at all is of any quality. I have none of the teachers here, maybe the electronics guy, but even the electronics guys, like pick a project. Okay. I'm going to sit here for the rest of the two weeks while you do your project,

[00:06:04] Paris: The electronics, uh, Drexel gives them a handout. That's like, here's some electronic shops you can call. I don't know. Like basically you may as well have just said, fuck you kids. Good luck. I'm going to collect this check.

[00:06:17] Chris: zap yourselves.

[00:06:18] Marissa: Well, you know who, so what we're seeing is like the teacher who's the most hands-on, who's the best teacher, really of all the mini course teachers box.

[00:06:27] Paris: well, you know what though? I have bones to pick what the art in this book and Stuart, all right. There's like a, there's a, there's a part in this. I think it's like the, the scene where Olivia and Stewart's kind of relationships starts to foment, where he is talking about, uh, this particular type of painting I think it's most commonly known as the Zorn palette where you use a set of limited colors to create all the colors you need.

So you use for, I think it's usually four colors. Some, maybe five, I'm not an artist, but my partner is sort of, kind of pick up things here and there. And, um, basically like you choose these four colors and then you are able to give the impression of other colors based on the way that you use them through the use of like, um, you know, shading and stuff.

And in the book it's like, all right, kids, Stuart's like, all right, I want you to paint green without painting green. But then instead of, you know, using this as an opportunity to actually talk about the and pallet or like, or some real art techniques, Stuart just kind of goes, you know, just do it. And then there's no explanation.

And Olivia just magically knows how to do it. It boggles my mind and like the other parts where they're talking about art, we really only get one description of a painting and it's Olivia one of Elizabeth Olivia's early paintings and it just says it's flowers in a garden. Everything else. It literally is just like shapes and colors and textures.

Like there's

[00:08:00] Marissa: yeah, we have no idea what style of painter, 

uh, Stuart is or what style of painting Olivia is doing that she is succeeding at. So while we know that she's working in a car,

[00:08:12] Paris: I mean for, yeah, for God's sake, tell me it's a rippling blue square or like a matte red circle or like a seascape on the Atlantic coast. Like it doesn't take a lot of effort to give me that detail. And I just drove

[00:08:27] Marissa: Yeah, it, it makes me think that they must be abstract paintings or else they would have been described more, but who knows? Maybe the author just really couldn't decide or didn't know anything about art. It's possible.

[00:08:39] Paris: It's true. 

[00:08:41] Marissa: So Lila has this big secret that she is, holding out over Jessica.

And she ends up not even actually, Jessica doesn't even get the secret as like payment. Like if the secret comes out at the birthday party that Olivia has at the end in front of everybody but I really want to tell the gladiators what the secret is. Do you guys remember,

[00:09:01] Chris: It was someone's ex-boyfriend is moving back to

[00:09:04] Marissa: right. It makes sense that it wouldn't have stood out to you all in, uh, you know, having read the book, uh, you know, weeks ago at this point because you haven't read the other books, but for me I'm, I, my eyes are wide. Todd Wilkins is moving back to sweet valley and , they put Elizabeth in the very end of the book.

They put Elizabeth in Jessica's lie detector test and Lila in like the bitchiest move she possibly could have pulled, asks Elizabeth point blank. So are you worried about the fact that your boyfriends would be back to town and you will have another boyfriend now? Like, is that a problem for you at all?

Knowing full well that Elizabeth has no idea that Todd is moving back to town and that's how she breaks the news.

[00:09:52] Chris: Okay. So Elizabeth also mildly sucks too, I guess.

[00:09:55] Marissa: We'll wait, why does Elizabeth suck? 

[00:09:57] Chris: I am incorrect. I can't keep track of these people.

[00:10:01] Marissa: Elizabeth is the one who. Um, Todd Wilkins is her ex boyfriend and they broke up because Todd moved away and then Jeffrey moved to town and then Elizabeth and Jeffrey started dating. So,

[00:10:13] Chris: Elizabeth. Ex-boyfriend. I'm sorry. I will. Wow.

[00:10:16] Marissa: all right. I mean she's, sometimes Elizabeth definitely does suck, but in this particular case, but I think the suckiest thing about her is that she might still be harboring feelings for her ex boyfriend, which is not great when you have a new boyfriend, but, 

[00:10:29] Chris: also, I feel like a heated coat hanger would be a lot easier to make than a fucking lie detector. In two weeks he had coat hangers, like a couple of resistors, right. A little insulation,

[00:10:39] Marissa: Yeah. Then she Randy.

[00:10:42] Chris: and he like builds. Like he like, oh, here's a pulse oximeter, Jessica. Like, he just makes one also actually, hold on, there's this point?

This, I completely forgot about this until now. I think Jessica might also be a little stupid about this lie detector works because at one point earlier, when she's like testing out the lie detector, She's like, oh, let's get your like baseline pulse reading. And she goes, oh, okay. I've got it. It's one 20 over 80, which is a blood pressure reading.

But then later on someone else like sets up the lie detector and 

they're like, okay, let's take your, yeah, Randy Mason sets it up. He's like, okay, let's take your baseline pulse. Oh, 73 resting heart rate, which is like normal resting heart rate reading. So I was trying to struggle to think if like the, the author just didn't understand what was like a pulse reading or if that was just a subtle jab at Jessica, not knowing what the fuck you're supposed to even be reading on the pulse oximeter part.

[00:11:39] Marissa: I like that second reading, because we are, the book keeps us a little bit in the dark about the play by play of what work Jessica's doing, because she's definitely doing something like she's clearly very enamored of this invention. He's works on it a little bit at home and she takes it with her from school to, you know, to the party.

Cause she's just so excited about it. But all of the ideas for how to make it work, come from Randy. And he must've helped her with the actual electronics. Cause I don't think she was really paying attention in class. So I think she's into it more, maybe more than she cares to admit. But I agree with you that the book gives us no sense that she actually knows that much about how it works. Winston's invention is a voice-activated toaster. Lila teases, Jessica, at one point that maybe she is going to invent an electronic boy finder. 

[00:12:33] Chris: That's just Tinder, right? That's just Tinder, 

 

[00:12:42] Marissa: We're at a point now in sweet valley diaries where I have not read any further than where we're at for the first 50 books I had already read them and we, before the podcast started, but once we got to book 51, it's all been new material for me, 

[00:12:56] Chris: okay. So can I bring up the one thing that I learned as I did a little bit of mild research for sweet valley high, which is a future spoiler here. So I suppose listeners,

[00:13:07] Marissa: Spoiler alert, spoiler alert 

[00:13:08] Chris: yeah, this is for like, I, I was just, I was just on the sweet valley high Wikipedia page. Cause I was looking, I was trying to make sense of who, what characters were, who

and like so there's a character section. And for some reason, the Wikipedia page on sweet valley high decides to tell you the ultimate fate of every character, there's like one line about who they are. And then like the horrible shit that happens to them later on. And I'm not going to say all of them, but this is what convinced me that sweet valley was cursed.

But I just, I want to zero in on Olivia's ultimate fate, apparently,

because this recontextualized a lot of lines in the book for me here. So once again, spoiler alerts to all listeners here and I hope Marissa. I mean, I'm, 

[00:13:47] Marissa: I can take it. I can take it.

[00:13:49] Chris: Okay. 

[00:13:50] Marissa: found out all sorts of interesting things about what happens in these books. Although I do try to avoid the, the danger, the danger zone. That is,

uh the Wikipedia 

[00:14:01] Chris: Also, but like Olivia has like two lines on her character on the Wikipedia page. It's like, Olivia is kind of the artsy student at sweet valley high later, she dies in an earthquake and I'm like, what the fuck? Like it doesn't, it doesn't say when at all. So like when there's a line in the book, that's like, this was the best birthday that Olivia ever had.

I'm like, yeah, fucking was, I guess wasn't it.

[00:14:28] Marissa: Man. I can't believe that it's going to even be an earthquake book, man, every once in a while these books get so blood thirsty, they just have to kill somebody off. And I'm sorry, it was Olivia. 

So by, by book 57 point, we have definitely had, at least, I hope I'm not forgetting anybody. Sorry. Gladiators. If I am, we have had two deaths in the series so far already, Tricia Martin and Regina Morrow.

[00:14:53] Chris: Oh, I see. I know one of these, I also read one of these. One of these is pretty fucked up. This is 

[00:14:56] Marissa: it was Regina probably who you're thinking of. I never realized how much sweet valley high was like, uh, the game of Thrones books. It was just like everybody that you love don't get too attached to their they're getting offed eventually. Not literally everybody, but a very high percentage of them do seem to pass away at some point for drama's sake.

That's what we're all about here. Drama. And today of course, extra drama. Maybe we gotta bring you guys back on for whatever this Olivia earthquake book is. You can 

[00:15:30] Chris: There's also that. And then there's the, there's the other Jessica thing that I read that once I read that on the Wikipedia page, I was like, truly fuck Jessica from all angles at all times.

Which again, we're not going to say anything. I don't want to spoil too many more things, but 

[00:15:43] Marissa: Well, now that I, now that I'm not sure what's coming, it's not always readily evident from the books and the books, brief descriptions, what wild things are gonna happen. So maybe we'll maybe it'll come as a surprise, but if I see it coming based on the plot description, I will call upon you to, to be my guests.

And thank you so much for being my guests on this week's and last week's episode of sweet valley diaries. And for reading this book and bringing your, a unique brand of a book dissection, terrible book dissection to our humble, uh, program. 

Hey guys, Marissa, just chiming in here real quick. You may have noticed that our friend Paris was uncharacteristically quiet during much of this extra drama episode. That was due to a technological difficulty that I didn't notice in time to fix. If it had in fact been fixable, who knows. I gotta be honest with you. I don't even remember if I asked her to tease book 58. Uh, but I would hate for you to miss this very exciting cliffhanger. So I'm going to read it for you right now, before the episode is out. 

And I'll try not to sound too excited about it. 

What will happen to Elizabeth and Jeffrey when Todd Wilkins returns to sweet valley. Find out in sweet valley, high number 58. Broken hearted. 

Well, thank you so much again, guys. And remember gladiator to check out terrible book club, wherever fine podcasts are distributed. And, uh, we'll talk to you next time.

[00:17:15] Paris: thanks for having us on today. 

[00:17:17] Marissa: I've got it all right in my brain here. Yeah.

[00:17:28] Chris: I like it.

 

Extra Drama #48: SWEET VALLEY HIGH SLAM BOOK!!!

Do not use during class time!!!

Omigod you guys, Gladiator Heather sent in her very own copy of the official 1988 Sweet Valley High Slam Book! Denise and Marissa read personal messages straight from Liz and Jessica themselves, and don't dwell too much on the idea that the very thing that caused such chaos at Sweet Valley High in Book 48 was marketed to tweens as some kind of super good fun-time school activity.

 

 

Book #48: SLAM BOOK FEVER (w/guest reader Denise Boylan)

It's what cool kids do in Connecticut! 

From the vantage point of 2020, it's unclear whether Sweet Valley High #48, SLAM BOOK FEVER, captured a phenomenon or started one. What we know for sure is that teenagers writing down all their opinions about each other could never, ever go wrong, hurt anyone's feelings, or spawn false rumors. Denise Boylan is back to talk about the Pandora's box Amy Sutton has opened onto an unsuspecting Sweet Valley.

Sweet Valley Diaries Podcast #19: SHOWDOWN

Jessica and Lila are in love...ahh, if only that were the end of the sentence.

  

Frenemies Lila and Jessica think they're duking it out over a secret scion, romantically masquerading as a construction worker. Marissa and her guest, actor Mark Sullivan, walk you through it all, from the poolside objectification to the final knife fight.

Yep, you read that right. Knife fight.

Some music in this episode courtesy of Purple Planet.

Links, references, explanations:

• LA Theatre Works: Spill
• Everything you probably never wanted to know about Top-Siders
• Let’s add one more Jack Donaghy to the list
• “Gary Hart on the Monkey Business” (talk about simpler times btw)

BONUS EP: Extra Drama #18: Love Is...Sacrifice, Apparently

Talking about it is vulgar though...

 

Bruce is a changed man. Jessica is certifiable. Caitlin is Francine’s Mary Sue.

Only one question remains: Who are the Vanderhorns???

CJ Hoke is back again to delve in to these and other DRAMATICALLY PRESSING ISSUES!!!

***

Notes:

All joking aside, the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorderread like an dead-on character description of Jessica Wakefield.

What is a Mary Sue? (an interesting editorial take on the concept)

Who is Caitlin?

Extra Drama #16: What Older Men Are Like

Regina's secret is about to be front page news. No, not the open secret that she's deaf. The other one.

Guest Mike Yarksy returns for a little bit of sensitive discussion of how we portray disability...and a little bit of ragging on Lila's stupid flat face.

Stay tuned till the end for a word from our new sponsor, THE BOSTON SHOP!

Sweet Valley Diaries Podcast #9: RACING HEARTS, starring my Dad

So you love Ned Wakefield's dad jokes? We'll do you one better: a real life dad! Marissa's own actual father, the wise and weird Don Flaxbart, joins shares his thoughts and insights on this, the first "teenage romance of any kind" that he's ever read. Will the lanky boy get the imperious-looking girl he's sweet on? Marissa discusses this absurd question, and even more absurd book, with – cannot stress this enough – her very own father.

The old-timey, 2000s recap of this book can be found here.

 

Book 39’s Extended B-Story

Sorry for making you wait, but now that you're here, wouldn't you like to know about the hilarious B-Story from Secret Admirer? This is the REAL B-Story, not that "let's get back at Kirk by pretending this model wants to date him" nonsense. 

If you've been following along, you know that Sweet Valley High's newspaper, the Oracle, has introduced a new personals section. I'm not sure why anyone needs a dating service in a school that seems to have about 100 students, but that's neither here nor there. And it just so happens that some non-highschoolers receive the paper, too. Let's forget for a second that this is kind of depressing. It's critical to Jessica and Lila's plot. 

Because she is obsessed with dating, Jessica thinks the new personals section seems like a lark. Lila, however, thinks it seems desperate and doesn't care to date highschoolers at any rate. A minor argument over these points spirals into a competition between the two girls; they will both place ads, specify that they aren't interested in mere boys, and see who comes up with the hotter date.  The contest goes beyond mere luck-of-the-draw, however (thank you, mystery author!). Believe it or not, the girls have a more technical disagreement here, about what makes the most enticing personal ad. Jessica plans to make a call for the type of guy she wants; Lila plans to advertise what kind of girl they'll be getting. In the end, Jessica’s reads like a casting call for a date rapist (seriously) and Lila’s sounds like it’s describing someone truly awful (oh hey, it is!), but the plan is set in motion.

Jessica is thrilled when she receives a response from the sexy-sounding Paolo, who comes off like a real Casanova (this appeals to Jess of course). Sure she'll win the Battle of the Blind Dates, she starts counting the hours until she and Paolo will meet. 

Oops. Looks like Jessica left something out of her call for bachelors: "No Fatties.". Paolo is pleasant, interesting, smart, and he speaks Italian. Yet Jessica spends the entire date trying to figure out a way to go home early, because he's fat. How was she not prepared for this eventuality? I know this is Sweet Valley, but there must still be some statute of limitations on hot people per capita. The entire risk and benefit of personal ads hinges on the fact that you're attracted to something on paper, not approaching someone based just on their appearance. Duh. The days of rescue-calls on your cell phone still over a decade away, Jessica makes up a lie about feeling ill and escapes back home without being seen. Ladies and gentlemen, her feeble conscience:

She frowned as a little voice inside told her she’d just played a mean trick on a polite, friendly, and interesting boy. But she ignored the voice. After all, she couldn’t help it if she simply couldn’t stand to be around fat people.
-p. 79

Loudest possible groan! Jessica’s experience with Paolo makes her dubious of future match-ups, but she’s in luck, as another collegiate gentleman thinks it’s cool to hook up with 11th-graders, and this one is cute! Sure, this John character can’t quit asking her questions that seem tied with his sociology class, and he has to rush home to study rather than extending their date, but Jessica takes this in stride, even relishing his interview-style questions. She mentions that she likes “doing exciting things,” and John asks her to elaborate:

Jessica considered briefly. “I guess you could say I like a dare. I’ll do anything once – and I’ll do it again if I like it,” she added suggestively.
-p. 105

Suggestively indeed. After this disgusting display, Jessica’s sure she’s got John hooked. He has to run off and study, but they meet again at the university’s snack bar, where he asks her, “Jessica, what made you write that personal ad?” The date continues in this manner until John must excuse himself again, but not before agreeing to meet Jessica at a free beach concert on Saturday. She’ll introduce him to Lila, and their secret contest will be as good as won. And even though John says he can’t come to the dance with her that night, Jessica thinks she’ll be able to persuade him on the spot.

Come Saturday, both Lila and Jessica feel confident that their respective dates will be found superior. They’ve filled in half the cheerleading squad, who will come along and serve as additional judges. “Of course, they had to be subtle enough so that the two boys didn’t know they were being compared like prize livestock,” our wonderful author chimes in on page 126. Walking toward the beach, they realize that their dates have the same name, John. Well, it is a common name. Then they each spot their man. They have spotted the same man, and he’s surrounded by a whole bunch of other girls. He’s standing next to a girl whom he introduces to the crowd as “Faye, my partner on my sociology project. And my girlfriend.” Uh-oh! Turns out that John was dating as many girls from personal ads as he could, all in the name of science. “You see, I wanted to see how people presented themselves in personal ads, and what they thought was appealing about themselves, so I answered all of your ads.”

Ha ha! The mean girls get their comeuppance…as do a lot of presumably nice girls. I hope that John’s not hoping to publish his research, because an ethics committee would have a field day with his selection methods, his procedure, and (most of all) his debriefing process. Yikes! Cara laughingly declares that Lila and Jessica are both winners, but we know better.

There's one more thing about this book that managed to sneak up on me: it's #39. That means the next book is #40. What happens in Book 40, you ask? Well, you can certainly do a little Internet research and find out, but those of you who are versed in your Sweet Valley lore can read the context clues in a quote that comes near the end of this book:

“What’s [Bruce] working on, do you know?”

“Some oral report he’s been really wrapped up in,” Regina answered hesitantly.

“Isn’t that nice.” Jessica kept her eyes fixed on her own reflection, but her mind was rapidly going over the students she had seen the the gym just moments before. Was Amy Sutton there? She had been with them at the beach, but now that Jessica thought about it, she couldn’t remember seeming Amy at the dance...Could Amy’s plan to snare Bruce actually be working?

Uh oh.